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Tuesday, February 26, 2008 7:46 PM

Hello lovelies.
Now I'm feeling stressed out.
So earlier in school, we had a boring talk at thearette.
It's about how to de-stress. What can we do to overcome it.
&blahblah, including when we feel stress.
What kind of situations we will overcome.
Sighs, so talking about stress.
I'm feeling so fucked up.
When people kept telling me guys so this and that to them.
I'm beginning to remind myself of my past.
When I'm in a relationship.
I felt so cheated and yknow.
All the feelings I don't want came haunting me down.
&all of sudden, I'm feeling so weak and all the feelings I used to feel.
I just wish to go far away from here.
I bet he's enjoying life so much without me.
&happier, thats for sure^.
Confused is what I roughly describe myself.
I don't know if I can still lay feelings towards them.
Although not all guys are the same.
I just don't trust them so completely and it's hard to.
Right now, for all I know.
I need someone by my side.
Lending me their shoulder where I could let all the pain go.
I may sound so emotional, but trust me.
I'm not.
There's too many things lingering in my head.
Till I can't control it, but for now. I still can(:
All I wished for was, he didn't lie to me about everything.
Everything he was hiding all along.
Identity, school, maybe sickness &so on.
People says
"God send us here for a purpose."
I'll move on, with that and find what purpose I was assigned.
Well, I hope to know soon though.
So HE could take my life away(:
I never will and feel happy fully, although I'm trying so hard.
You may say,
"Kinz, why are you saying this again? Because of him, u wanna end your life blah2."
Well, actually don't get me wrong.
Put yourself in my shoes, than you can talk okay.
Almost a month, I've been trying to move on.
The moment we broke up, tears weren't there.
But now, I'm feeling the pain all over again.
&tears are wetting my cheeks.
I hate this feeling, I just feel like ripping of myself, NOW.
Every song played, seemed so meaningful/about love.
It's hurting so much okay.
Mummy, will you shower me all the love I really need right now?
Will you spare me a time, to listen to my life stories?
Will you tell me how meaningful I am to you?
To make feel better, and think there should not be anyone else I should love more than you.
Mummy, I truly love you.
I'm sorry for hurting you so badly all this years.
Mummy, I need you):

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