"The Game Of Love"

2009-10-26T23:55:00.000-07:00

Perhaps I shall stop spending my money, on clothes I know I won't wear.
I hate having the feeling that, you have to get something on that day,
and when you find it just o-k. You buy it, and end up wearing it just once.
I have lots of clothes, I end up hating. Most painful part, sometimes when I like it,
it disappears into thin air!! Magic eh? You think?
Cool eh, NO OK. Zzzzzzzz, I need to shop for proper clothes la):

And I wanna slim down, gah gah gah.

~~

And,

Happy Birthday Sharifah Hafizah, love kau. Lol.

2009-10-20T19:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like a lousy friend, I am seriously no good at it, in my point of view.
I don't know how to please someone, perhaps I am too shy to meet new people.
Eventhough I've know someone for a year or two online, when it comes to meeting them.
I just freak out, because perhaps I am not comfortable with myself.
And I'm afraid, they'll be embarrassed walking with me, yes no? I don't know.
OR, maybe I'm got too comfortable at home. Not going out for so long, makes it even harder now.
Perhaps, I am just a useless friend. Well, I'm truly sorry if I've ever let anyone down.
But, I am just me. I can't help it, I will try to change. Still, love you all for being there <3

And, I miss Nur Shahida B ______ a lot. Someone who was always there, we used to be bestfriend, well, I'm not sure if we still are. Cz, we don't talk anymore. Babe, I miss you so much but sometimes I just don't know. At times, I wish we were at the times where we were so close still. I miss everything we do together, I miss you. And I really hope, you're doing good.

And there's a few more people I do miss, I'm sure you know who you are. I do want to go out with all of you, when I'm ready :) I will text you guys, insya allah.

"I need break loose from this shell of mine"

2009-10-14T23:51:00.000-07:00

"Kristy, are you doing okay?"

I am tired of everything, so so tired. And I just wanna sleep for years!

2009-10-13T20:04:00.000-07:00

"You would talk softly
You are a riddle
And I felt so innocent
Standing in your eyes

So hear me now
I'll scream out loud
Can't figure out
How you've entered in to my world
And I fall down"

I miss secondary school friends, so fucking much.

Remember when we were in lower sec, we were so childish cz we're always in the situation of, "i hate her, you also must hate her" game. But we end up, being friends again. And, the cycle keeps going on..

Remember when we always fight with each other about silly things, but was always shy to say sorry to each other.

Remember when we get restless and tired of studying, we laugh non-stop for no reason.

Remember when we don't feel like going to class, we'll plan to sit in the toilet for hours doing stupid things.

Remember when we're bored, we never fail to take stupid pictures with each other.

Remember when we always gossip and share stories with each other.

Remember when we talk about we were wanna go after graduation.

Remember when we finish our recess, and climbing up the stairs, we will keep complaining about how tired we are.

Remember when we pull a prank on one other, and laugh like there's no tomorrow?

Remember when we're about to graduate, we talk about how we don't wanna lose contact with each other? And keep saying not to change our phone numbers,so we would still be contact?

Remember when we locked the Social Studies teacher outside of the class, cause we didn't want to study?

Remember when, remember when...... It just goes on!

I miss every single one of you, and all of you mean a lot to me, in my life. You were one of the best things, I never wanna exchange with anything. And, I miss having all of you near me, just a hand away.. Right now, we don't really keep in touch nor text to plan an outing. Well, me too am at fault, for not making a plan. But school was keeping me busy with assignments and project, which is really annoying!

K, whatever it is, I hope we will plan an outing sooner or later. Really wanna catch up with you guys. Whoaaaaaa, it's so making me sad. I beginning to have weird dreams about people I do not expect I'll dream of. Will this friendship we built be gone forever?

Anws, today was dullllllllllllllllll. I feel like skipping school tomorrow, and well, goodnight (:

2009-10-10T18:14:00.000-07:00

Have you figured out that I've moved somewhere? Still in the internet world though.
Does that explain why this blog is dead? If you wanna know my link, ask.
But, well, mybe I'm not ready to give it to everyone. Ask me, personally :)

K this is crap, haha but yes I got another blog link.

i know that he loves me, cz it obvious.

2009-10-07T15:14:00.000-07:00

"when i thought, i was that stranger i was staring at, i turned away breathless.. there i was, suddenly feeling so lost.
Why do people have mixed feelings? And what do they feel, when they admit that's what they're feeling? Why are we asking so many questions to ourselves, leaving us so confused at the end of the day. Why? Why? Why after so many thoughts of it, it makes me feel insecure. I'm feeling rather down. No idea why, it's like, I do not recognize the air I breathe anymore. And it makes me wonder, what I am doing here? I know, it's wrong to question myself like that, cz we're here for a purpose. But at some point of time, I just can't help but think. Right now, all I feel like doing is, close my eyes and only wake up only when I want to..

Feeling like running away from something, I am clueless about. Is this normal? Hope so.

Going through songs from the ipod, tryna find the right beat,to satisfy the hunger for it.. But I just can't find it. This is really frustrating,if I must say. The letter "Y" on my keyboard is really pissing me off, cz it's not working properly. Damn it.

Anws, school reopening next week. I'm never ready for it, but lifes go on... Hope it's gonna feel great meeting the mates again after sometime. Holidays been, as usual, boring. I hate waking up in the morning, why? Because, I wake up not because I'm done sleeping. It's because my granny would shout at me at the time she wants me to wake up. It's really annoying and bothering me. Cz, I'll end up not having enough sleep. Hate. That. Alot.

Right now, I just don't wanna breathe. Cz, when I take a breath, I get hints of head spins. Does that make sense? Hope so. Will try update again soon.

Never wanted a day to end so fast, but today. I want time to tick faster.

2009-09-03T23:12:00.000-07:00

"When I'm at my lowest, I just wanna break all the rules, and make others feel the misery. But, I try not to, cause I don't wanna be a meanie. So I end up, hurting myself and it sucks so much."

I wanna go around the world, and witness the beauty of nature.
But tonight, star gazing might be nice.
Need some milk! Nights!

2009-09-02T09:20:00.000-07:00

Gd morning xjunkies! This blog's dead, and I'm thinking of deleting it :D But I can't make up my mind, even though I have a other personal/private blog this space has lots of memories. Two hundred plus post, is too precious but sometimes when I start reading all the past post, it's well, bring bad memories and it's totally not healthy! K no, maybe some memories are nice to keep. Let's see what's gonna happen eh, if you wanna know the new link, ask me personally. But just to let you know, I won't tell some of you. So, try your luck babies! Currently, in school doing nothing. But, Ailing is beside me, happily reading what I'm typing. And literally laughing at me! How could you......... Lol. I've been broke, even though I'm fasting :( Due to some problems. Heart-pain! But, shall start saving from tomorrow perhaps? Cz I have pay something which well, nvm.

"Everytime say tomorrow, tomorrow, but....... I don't know when's the tomorrow ah?" -AILING! See, she sometimes can be that evil....

THIS IS SO BORING, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA chiao.

2009-08-17T21:25:00.000-07:00

I'm, cranky.

I'm feeling a lil pissed with my parents due to some personal reasons, though it's a small thing, I well, am sometimes sensitive. Can't blame me, I'm a girl.

So yes..... I'm finally posting here! Yay. Back on track, doing great. And life, is getting great not the shooting part to be honest, cuz it's so tiring. It's been going on for 3 weeks if I'm not mistaken. I really hope we can get it done by this week. Been skipping school a lot, the best part is, attendance is taken heh heh. I miss Lim Ai Ling, which I think she doesn't miss me! HAHA kidding, miss disturbing her. And am happy, that she's finally really opening up (laughs).

Anyways, have you seen "You belong with me" by Taylor Swift's music video? It's so cute, and Lucas Till looks hot, melting... Haha, wished my love story's like that. Ok, time to wake up dreamer! Enough of crap, let's really talk about life!

I've never felt so, how should I put it? Hm, kk. Life's so awesome, I want more of it! And I am really thankful to HIM that I'm still breathing! Though, the shooting days (is alil draggy), I still love it each day! Everyday is full of surprises and joy. Which I hope last forever. Not regretting things I do, feels nice. Even though, I've been mean these few weeks, haha! But boys sometimes deserve some whacking, don't you think so? Fasting month is around the corner, and right now I'm totally confused with the date it starts. Cuz some say it starts on the 20th, and some say on the 22nd. How how? Anyone, help! Need a confirmation soon! And, well 26th? I hope, everything goes fine :) AND THIS WEDNESDAY, gdluck to me!!!!!!!!!!! Gosh, so nervous. But reading theory, makes me bored/sleepy. K, be shocked! When I read the book I feel so excited to lay my hands on the steering wheel. HAHA, I have the urge to ask Daddy to bring me somewhere deserted and allow me to drive! But, knowing my Dad, he'll never let it happen! Guys love their cars too much, so saddening.

Anyways, I can't believe I'm skipping my favorite show just to avoid my parents. Mannnnnnnnn, the voices of the actors/actress is making me feel like shit, dear M, please upload today's episode by tml. Pretty please, with a cherry on top!!!!

2009-08-03T11:55:00.000-07:00

Why must it be this way? Why M? Why?
I don't know where to turn to, I am officially emotionally unstable.
Am not strong enough to face such test, please Allah. Help me!
One after one problem, I have to slowly digest into my thick skull.
But this is too sudden, I can't. I can't take it.
I feel so useless, all I can do is stare blankly and cry helplessly?
I feel so awful :(

And,I'm not answering any questions at the moment.
Don't bother starting a convo with me(&ask what's wrong), I'm in no mood for it.
I feel like giving up, but I have to be strong. Have to!
Please Allah, guide us and give us some strength to go through this.
I wish M gets well real soon, love you.

you dissapoint me.

2009-08-02T20:40:00.000-07:00

I am officially tired of blogging, I have lost the skills.
Besides, I have nothing interesting at all to share.
Will do so, if my life does get interesting. For now, I'm on hiatus..
Totally feeling blue now, especially when I'm feeling unwell since, Tuesday, Idk?
I just need a long rest, love you all.

On a brighter note,

Happy 18th Birthday, Ailing.
You know I love you (heh heh),
and will always be there if you need me.
Do hope, u had a blast!
&am truly sorry I didn't celebrate your big day with you.
May God Bless you, sweetie. Mwah!
You owe me 18punches,hehe I like!

Goodnight for now. We'll meet again someday.

----

& oh yes, I wanna thank Mummylove for taking care of me.
When I was not feeling well,love you. You're the best ever.

2009-07-28T21:50:00.000-07:00

Going through up and down(s).
I get pissed very easily, emotionally unstable? I don't know.
I'm having a hard time myself, which I am clueless about.
I get angry with myself almost every minute.
Depressing days for me, and I hope Aug is gonna be fine.
26th Aug, a date I'm never looking forward too :(
God, please be my our sides. I love you.

HIATUS.
(perhaps from virtual and reality world)
er, find me if you can.
but at your own risk, i am tired.

My day was great.

2009-07-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, currently blogger still sucks like fucking sucks. I don't know if I wanna shift to LJ temporary, but let time decide. Cuz, I'm so fickle minded, and sometimes I regret my steps. But I try not to lah, kk stop bragging. So, just wait for the answer to come to me. And you'll know. Anws, my weekend's dull and boring. At least, I'm not stuck at home. That's a good news to me, I think. Tomorrow school starts, damnnnnnnn can I please skip. Go S&W or skip.....................................

2009-07-23T07:41:00.000-07:00

I have bad eyebags, and must really get rid of it. I am very sleepy right now, but I have not done something I'm supposed to do, on the project thing(y) that my "producer" asked me to do. I don't feel good sleeping without doing it, but no replies from you know who you are, and I'm irritated. I'm tired, and class starts @ 8am tomorrow.. I need sleep, man! Nevermind, shall wait for a few more minutes. If there's still no respond, might as well discuss about it tomorrow. So far, after school reopened, it's great. Minus some parts that happened recently and been feeling very tired after school EVERYDAY whoaaa. Been having a great day, everyday, with the B's.. And I am loving it, aw. (I AM MADLY SLEEPY, EFF). Ends school @6pm today. Dragged the girls to accompany me to somewhere, hehe thank you my lovely "dates", love you lah♥! Anyways, right now in class there's some unnecessary cold stares going on, and fyi, it's totally not needed. We're giving you people space, and please don't feel weird with what we've become. It's for our own good :) On a brighter note, I feel like watching Harry Potter, Half Blood Prince (correct right?) I feel like eating dim sum (all of a sudden!!), I want to buy this Vans shoes (booo which I don't think I will purchase it, sobs) and etcetc the list go on... Money, money please love me and come to me. Gah anws I'm really tired. Shall update soon, loves you all.

"You just know how to brigthen up my day, and do it so simply just like ABC"

271/skin me.

2009-07-21T15:39:00.000-07:00

"The only reason I'm here, is because running away is impossible."

Everyone has their own secret, which they'll never tell. I have mine, and I need someone to skin me and help me. Anyways, school was as usual boring, but managed to laugh till I get breathless. But at the ending of the day, something came up and it's really ridiculous. I kinda waste 30 minutes of my life witnessing the most nonsense scene ever, not B's but you know who. No worries, names won't be mentioned and just so you know it's my blog and I pretty much have the rights to type bout how I feel. So, if any of you aren't happy about it, it's not my problem. Oh, and some people are just, just... so sensitive about every single thing. Perhaps, they just don't know the meaning of joking around. Shall stop bragging about it, so school's eating up my energy every bit of it. And it has eaten up all my braincells, right now I'm always out of things to say. My mind will just go blank, and when I have so much to say.. I'm in a situation of, what shall I describe it as. Hm, something like in a place where I'm suppose to only listen and keep my mouth shut. When, my "lovely" course is all about talking. Most prolly, because we have to sell to our "clients" (in the future) our film. Not really my kind of thing, as I don't like talking to people whom I'm not close with. I can try, I think.. Never mind that, right now I wanna have a nice nap. I hope, and will update when I have something interesting to share. For the meanwhile, consider as I'm on hiatus. Am running away from cyber world, for alil while. Sorry if I won't reply you via sms/msn/phonecalls etc. Just not in the mood, xoxo.

---------------------------
You're never in this circle, and don't try to fit in.
Cuz you're never gonna survive, right now, save your breath.
And just fuck the hell out of here.
No, it's not about you, girl.
It's about, a dude.
A dude who just made me lose my respect towards him.
Now, don't go backwards. Instead step forward, cz you're no longer needed.
We're better off without you, and I'm glad.
I have my B's, now and always :)

hi weekends.

2009-07-17T17:42:00.000-07:00

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning,
but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”
-Maria Robinson

I am completely shagged out, and I hate the feeling. Okay, I just can't stop complaining about this but I just can't stand it (in need of massage) sobs if only money can fall from the sky eh.. Skipped school due to some reasons, well today's the dateline for the first labsheet since school started. And I feel bad, no more skipping school, need to focus for the last few months. First year was so much easier -shrugs-.. Anyways, I think I might get a dizzy cause I'm multi-tasking. These days, I suck at multi-tasking, what's wrong with me? Talking about these few days(!!), I've been sleeping early during school days because I wanna avoid eyebags, will wake up fresh etc. It kinda works,but must get used to it. Since, I always have difficulties in forcing myself to sleep and shall not get distracted by tv shows late at night,haha. On a brighter (might be dark lol), Mum's thinking whether to go JB tonight or tomorrow morning. Which I hope we'll go tonight, okay I know it's a super slim chance she'll agree to that idea. But then, the thought of having to wake up 6am in the morning tomorrow just sucks. I'm not a morning person, and I get so grumpy that I might just end up fighting with either one of them.. Which is not good, why? Cuz later when I wanna buy something that catches my eye, I'll never ever get to talk them into buying it for me. Shall control tempers! Heh heh, okay lah shall not make this post more boring. Off to watch teevee, xoxo.

and I might be changing my url,sooner or later. let time decide :)

2009-07-15T18:30:00.000-07:00

I feel like a rotten apple....
zzzz.

2009-07-14T22:09:00.000-07:00

Mummy's getting on my nerve,but I still love you.
Uhm, need alot... ALOT of rest? -shrugs-

I'm better off just pretending
like I never really knew you.
I gotta stop
Holding hands with the memory I'm feeling.
I gotta say
Something's different 'bout the way I see you lately.
You feel the same.
I can see it in your eyes I think it's changing.

The blame won't fall
On either side.

2009-07-13T23:06:00.000-07:00

"I don't know what hurt you
I just, I wanna make it right
Cos I'm sick and tired of trying to read your mind."
-Someone(forgot the name,sorry!) from DeviantArt.

Haven't been able to control my anger lately, I hate when this happens because well, I'll throw the tantrum to my parents. Honestly, I hate being rude to them but fuck the mood-swings. My body still hurts, aching.. My day at school was, one of the best days ever. Ever since school started, we haven't been really studying and when the teacher told us we have to hand in the first labsheet for PPP(paperwork)by this Friday(!!), I freaked out. Getting myself so confused with all the information my teacher explained. Like as if asking my classmates would help, I even get a "idiot" when I asked one of them to explain to me online :( no offence haha. You know who you are. Nah, nothing new about my classmates, haha. That's when I felt the sense of emergency!! It's 2nd year, and last 6 months of school. Which means, I have to do well for all modules and pass in order to get good results. Poly? Out of my list, I guess.. Education is so, so irritating. Theories are killing me, practical? Haha, worst.. Burying me alive!! Ok exagerrating,sorry. And well, that's when I wonder, what will happen after the end of school. I never wanna be uhm, doing nothing? Work at 19, is kinda weird. Cuz, some of my friends are working so hard to get..... Shall skip that. Let's cut the crap -inside joke- heh heh, I'm not ready for next Thurs, didn't touch the book to study.. I'm so tired of studying, so suck-ish.

P.S sorry for the bad grammar whatever eff la horh. Lazy la, k shutup B's. Haha.

TGIF.

2009-07-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

"Just when I thought things were alright
You came in and broke my heart
My stomach's full of butterflies
The thought of you gone, it tears me apart"

First week of school was alright, but I don't know I feel so tired and sleepy these few days. Just can't stop talking from it, and I kinda find myself irritating, haha. I'm having a slight headache, and I dislike the feeling. Anyways, I so so so want this phone so badly. Ok, I've never wanted something this much, but I'm having doubts about purchasing it, as from my point of view there's so many people using it already lorh. And I feel so sad!!!! But whatever it is, right now I'm trying my very best to persuade my parents to pay for me first. Hopefully they're agree soon! But on the other hand, I've been wanting to buy Ipod Classic and I'm having trouble deciding. Hmmmmm..

My God, any opnions? Hehehehhee.........

Oh yeah, I have bad and good news. Well, I failed my BTT on my first attempt and good news is I can always book another day but say goodbye to 6bucks hahaha. Ok, I find it a lil hilarious when it shows "FAIL" call me crazy or whatever I actually giggled to myself. People sitting at my side must think I'm mad. But who cares lor, hahaha. Kk, enough of this. Making me feel paiseh, learn like crazy also fail.. How sad,boohooo..Today's Friday and that means HELLO WEEKENDS, but sadly I'll have to wake up early in the morning, earlier than school days!!! Cuz, I voulenteered to tag along to JB. Clever right,but who cares. Better than staying at home and eat/sleep and being called pig. Heh heh, sleepy lah.................... Tsk.

2009-07-09T10:30:00.000-07:00

I'm super nervous. Heart's beating at a very fast rate.
Either I screw up or do it right
test after test i did made me more and more nervous
my keyboard is fucked up
cannot insert fullstops etc
very bagero thankyou

---------------

Thank God, the keyboard's cured. If not, I don't know what to say. But for sure, someone will kill me cause I'm responsible for it and the last person to use it, hehe! But oh well, anyways my day normal. Skipped class, first week skip two days of school is not cool. Must try not to skip already, regardless of lazyness or tired. So, went somewhere first. After that, followed Daddy to Geylang to buy some pills for his backache, bought afew things that caught my attention hehe! And since, we're early to fetch Mummy from work we decided to have a drink cum something light to eat. Errrr after that, bought Dendeng hehe it tasted yummy,but not the chicken ones! Headed to Beach Rd to fetch dearest Mum and ate proper food. Okay, sounds like I ate alot, but mind you I did not. Haven't ate anything when I left the house lor, except for 5pcs of Ferrero Rocher (L)! Right after that, since Mum needs to use the toilet urgently, we decided to stop by McDonalds at AMK somewhere at the garden haha. Bought Double Choclate Frappe, wooo okay after so long of craving it, atlasttttttttttttttt and Dad bought Espresso. Shall say, it's pathetic and expensive. Haha, couldn't stop laughing about it. And so, today I laughed alot I think I can lose 1kg lor! Then, home sweet home but before that went to buy some durians for granny as she's craving for it. Well, talking about that. Cherriesssss, ahhh.. K, forget where I put already. And before I talk crap and can't wake up tomorrow for morning class. I think I'll end this post eh, xoxo. Update soon!

2009-07-07T10:25:00.000-07:00

In sch right now, and CAN'T WAIT FOR 12PM.

END OF SCHOOOOOOL,WOOOOO~

2009-07-02T14:20:00.000-07:00

I'm bored, hungry, dizzy, sleepy, restless and I wanna stay in bed all day. It's a lazy Thursday I guess, for me. Currently listening to 98.7fm and I'm loving the comfy feeling and how the sun shines dimly through the closed windows. Never fail to make me feel good, no nags since granny's busy doing some kind of cake in the kitchen. Everyone's doing their own things, and hm it's nice having a little privacy. Honestly, I might fall asleep any minute but Mum's toilet door is giving me heart attacks! So I guess I'll skip the sleeping part, cause I don't want to sleep un-peacefully lol. So, might be going to Bukit Batok in the evening,to visit Granny(Dad's side) and help on things that might need some helping hand. Ok, whatever that means. Hope the plan's still on, and thanks to that plan Mum decided to tell granny(the one living with us,Mum's side,don't get confuse now) not to cook. And hm she didn't cook anything at all. I guess, I'll have to cook my own meal but oh my I'm so lazy! Plus, I think it's gonna rain anytime as it's kinda dark outside and the wind's giving the "ghost" sound effect through the window. I really hope there won't be any thunder/lightning. Haha, I swear I'll fucking run to my granny in the kitchen. Yes, I'm a coward when it comes to that. So what! Heh heh, oh yah! Yesterday when we were walking around AMK Hub I saw this shop that does this necklace, like we can ask them to write our name. I don't really know how to explain but it's so gorgeous! I thought of purchasing one after I save up, it cost 78bucks. Nyeh,it's okay I'm slowly earning and saving up some money! Hehe, and this new phone. Omg, I fall in love with it the moment I read some info about the phone, I WANT LEI. It's called Samsung Jet! I bet my parents will kill me if I say I wanna buy it, but super pretty lah how? Must think of a solution! HAHA, k before I talk cock I wanna on some lights! The darkness in my home looks like it's 10pm already,haiyooooooooo I'm not a fan of darkness. Heh heh, xoxo! p.s die got lightning!

2009-07-01T22:33:00.000-07:00

The Bottom Line -
Ride the wave! You're full of emotion and intensity right now, so dig in deep.

In Detail -
You've been quite busy lately, and for all the right reasons. A certain someone has been keeping you occupied in a variety of departments. In other words, whether you've been together or not, you've been quite absorbed with them -- and quite unable to concentrate on anything else. Fortunately, you can make this a three-day weekend if you need to. No one who knows you will expect to see you tomorrow.

My day was tiring but I survived. Woke up, watched some random show, showered and left the house. Hm, had a group meeting, and last minute I had to go to my aunt's crib first to send some things. Eventhough, I was a lil bothered by it and very lazy to go there, I did. Must kill all the lazy feeling already, school's gonna start. Must not be lazy! Anws, met them and well I had fun (reaching early wasn't fun though ish) lol. Especially when there's Bim and Bang. I wished Bam was there too,but sorry BamBam heh heh. K sorry for the nick names la hor, whatever it is I love the part where we're at Khatib, evil laughter! Nowadays, I'm really running out of words, what's happening lor, so irritating. MUST CHAT MORE, SO CAN BE MORE TALKATIVE HMPPPH. sorry for this lame post, heh. Lagu jiwang, is so irritating. Ok, no offence, my little brother is replaying this idk what song, and its super irritating gah!

Ok, I cannot upload picture on blogger, and it's so irritating babi

2009-06-30T23:22:00.000-07:00

"Under your stars tonight
We'll live and breathe this dream

Close your eyes, but don't dream too deep
And please pass me some memories
And when I fall you're underneath
A thousand broken hearts
Carried by a thousand broken wings
A thousand broken wings"

"Singapore has confirmed 72 new H1N1 flu cases, bringing the tally to 701 so far." -Extracted from channelnewsasia.com Okay, that's ALOT of people and it's freaking me out. It's spreading way too fast, can I please skip school and stay safe at home. Just like SARS, I do hope this flu will go very soon. Hm, anyways school's starting next week and I'm not ready! The thoughts of waking up early, oh my god I hope I can wake up in time, that's all I'm hoping at the meantime! Group meeting tomorrow, (self reminder) and I hope I won't forget and wake up late haha. Whatever it is, somehow I can't wait for weekends, weddinggggggggggggggggggggggg xoxo!

a short/nonsense update.

2009-06-28T17:40:00.000-07:00

(don't mind the hair, haha!)

So, after so long of not going out and meeting them, I finally went out! It was okay, but as per normal I was bullied by that skinny babi, haha ANAK SAID(sorry for pushing you hard till you hurt your hand though lol)! Hehe, take good care of my drum sticks ok! But, well he wasn't really in the mood as he was tired. Clever right, never sleep that night, ish. But, did catching up with my dear Sharifah Hafizah, and planned an outing which isn't comfirmed. Plan to go with the girls, I'll see how it goes as I'm busy next week, hm.. Anyhoos, watched some parts of the NDP rehearsal, and the "butts" (inside joke) were well nevermind, haha. Went home early, and slacked at Yishun? Ifah wanted to get her hands on the game called "Guitar Hero" and we went to chill at Starbucks. And bought food/drink that I was craving for quite sometime, finally. Had a small reunion thingy, named by Ifah. Hah, cause I kept bumping into my ex pri school friends. It's nice to see familiar faces, especially when they still recognize me, ok don't be excited Kinz.. Bought cheap cheap nail polish, huhu! And that's it? Nice yet simple day lor. Lazy Sunday, a day at home. Desperately in need of rest, oh ya, happy schooling to the Pri/Sec Sch kids for tomorrow eh, hehe! KKKK, I wanna watch some show online ler, xoxo.

let my guard down for you
And in time you will too

---------------

9 July, 26Aug, 27Aug.
Mhhhhmmmmmm, time, for once please slow down:(
And pain,pain go away!

2009-06-26T13:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Sweet 17th Birthday, Nrl Huda Bte Z.
Aku sayang kau okay, hahaha birthday present nanti la yer Cik Adeq.
May all your wishes come true, and may God bless you.
Sweetkan aku? HAHAHA!

i need a break,pronto.

2009-06-25T22:58:00.000-07:00

A: Jag grät så dåligt, när jag pratade med min vän om det.

Det gör ont så mycket för att veta vad han skulle kunna gå igenom. Jag är så sorgligt.
M: Jag är alltför älskling, men vad kan vi göra? Det enda vi kan göra nu är,vistelse stark och aldrig visa den sidan av oss. Nu ska vi göra honom lycklig och få honom att skratta. Jag är så orolig för honom, han måste vara rädd, sighs...
-tystnad- och nästan bröt, gahhhhh.

Go figure....
And I don't know if I could stay strong any longer,
I am falling, falling and falling down....

----------------------
Lifeskills - Fair
Audio Production- C
Studio Production - C
GPA - 2.000

Whoaaa, this is really not good. Ofcz disappointing, but atleast I passed.
Hm, must really survive for the last two modules, must must!
I hope I can survive, -grumbles-

sense of emergency.

2009-06-24T00:42:00.000-07:00

Slowly, I'm feeling so irritated and disgusted with the way my little sibling's acting. Every morning, every moment he thinks of Restaurant City, ok every second la horh. Since he's like on the computer from morning to late night, he'll keep asking. How much money I have now, points bla bla. Gosh, all he think about is getting more things than me. When it's just a silly game, for idk what sake la horh! He'd insist in sleeping in the living room, so he'll be able to sleep late just to watch his money increase. See, when a small kid get hooked up on such games, tsk. I regretted, regretted staring the game, or shall I say help him creating a FB account. He's so young lah, man small kids nowadays. Sometimes, I just feel like hitting them hard in the head. On the other hand, my past is slowly coming back to me. Glimpse of what had happened, kept flashing in my tiny head at some random moments. And I can't help but feel like crying? But, I'm already cry-less(that's when I become sad and I'd tend to get angry fast?) about that. The feeling's more to pissed, sad,irritated alot la. Forgetting is so hard, since things went about for 2fucking years. -Breathe in and out- I need a break, a holiday to somewhere peaceful, Mummmmmmmy you're my only hope. Oh, and I'm currently sad too, and almost broke down, due to some new Dad told us when he came back from the hospital. I don't think I'm gonna say it here openly, but whatever it is. I hope you're gonna be oh so fine, and get real well. I love you, only God knows how much I love you. My mind's so messed up right now, I just can't think right. And I'm sorry for the messy post, I know, I know everything's everywhere. But, I can't help it. K, hope things get fine just like they were, xoxo.

"before you fly, leave me a love letter.
&when I miss you, the words that filled the blank paper,
would always remind me how much you've loved and cared for me"

2009-06-23T14:05:00.000-07:00

"I am nothing now and it's been so long
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope
This time I will be listening"

Nervous-Breakdown. I'm hungry, and feeling a lil' giddy.
Hm, I miss the beach.

2009-06-21T12:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day, Dadddddyyyy.
I love you, you love me. You kentut, I tak lari
(cuma bising hehe!).
HAHAHAHAHA hope you're doing fine at work.
Love you, and thanks for being the best Dad♥!!
Sayangggggggg skaliiiiii.

a boring life.

2009-06-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

"For everything you have misses, you gained something else,
and for everything you gain, you lose something else"
-Ralph Walso Emerson

Holidays are getting wasted, again. I'm at home most of the time, and I really don't feel like going out. Shall not get use to it, must quit the habit of staying at home quick! Social life? Lol, never been good at that. But, well, I'm glad some stayed whatever it is, love em to bits. I miss laughing, I miss people. Plans, plans, plans they give me headache, don't get me wrong. Not that I don't wanna plan an outing with anyone of you, I'd love to! Only that, if I'm the planner. I just can't think, and oh my. Hate when that part happens, cz it's a goodbye to it. And, well it actually involves money too. Holidays, no allowance. Job? Don't even wanna talk about it. Basically, I'm wasting every single minute at home, doing nothing. Nothing, zero, zlich! When I can make wonderful plans with those loved ones, gah.Anws, I have the urge to bowling,since that outing was cancelled, I got alil dissapointed. Hm, but play @ Yishun la. Safra, Orchard Country Club, anyone? :S

2009-06-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

Nenek, I will miss you so damn much.
Your nags, your voice, and I'm sorry for hurting you.
Have a safe trip, not forgetting come home soon and safely.
Hugs and kisses, don't know if I'll survive. But will try hehe.
Love you!

And, watched Night at the Museum 2 AGAIN.
Almost fell asleep,but survived.
It's a simple yet nice day♥..

2009-06-10T23:28:00.000-07:00

"Study nature,
love nature,
stay close to nature.
It will never fail you."
-Frank Lloyd Wright

Not so a lovely day, but a very tiring and sleepy one for me. Since, I slept late the night before. And had to pick up a call @ 9am. It pretty pisses me off, I swear Mum got irritated on the other side of the phone,haha cuz I remained silent. Hm, aunt wasn't working and planned to go swimming and asked us along. Zz, I hate last minute plans but everyone in the was especially my granmum was shouting, er very chaotic. I got irritated,and showered. Left the house right after that, was rushing because I thought I was delaying everything and am really late. Turns out, the planner's happily enjoying herself at home doing I don't know what. And my other auntie, sleepy. Like great eh! Got so irritated, at the other hand I was already irritated because I couldn't find my swimming suit, had to search for one. But, didn't manage to!!!!!!!!!! Luckily I'm able to fit in into someone's! Bad news. didn't bring extra extra extra SOMETHING! HAHAHAHAHA k nb, don't laugh. Not funny, I was so depressed! Hm,skip that already. Decided to have some sushi, and met parents. I AM SO TIRED PLEASE, need some sleeeeep. But couldn't now. Let's sing till I sleep! -_- k bored. hahahhaa k this is a silly post, so don't comment on it. Atleast not depressing as the previous ones, sorry la horh. I am a sad person this few weeks,my bad. HAHAHAHAHAHHA but my parents eh never fail to make me laugh like a mad child. Love them to bits, heheehehehe spread some love!

2009-06-10T12:16:00.000-07:00

"Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow." -Mary Anne Radmacher

Would not deny, I suck when it comes to expressing my thoughts and feelings through words. And most of the time, it feels like a burden and it's slowly killing me. Silent killer, I'll call. Never thought, it would turn out this hard. It hurts so much, till my heart feels painful whenever I breathe. I don't know how much longer I can tolerate, but perhaps, no harm trying, I think? Anyhoos, I'm missing quite a handful of human beings, I hope to meet them during holidays! But my butt seems to be glued on the seat, and eyes stuck on the computer screen,haha my bad. I hope I won't waste the holidays like I always do, must get ready for Final Year Project -shrugs- I hope I'll survive! And I have doubts about this Friday's outing, I hate this grins...

2009-06-08T16:34:00.000-07:00

"You can close your eyes to things you don't
want to see, but you can't close your heart to
the things you don't want to feel."
- Unknown

SIGH SIGH SIGH SIGH.
I wish I was Bella Swan, gr would love to be a vampire.
It sounds exciting, well.
I am feeling down, so I am sorry for my poor response towards you people.
Whatever that means.
xoxo.

2009-06-06T22:50:00.000-07:00

lovely weather, hm.. what completes it all?
the song almost lover over and over again, and re-read New Moon, hehe can't wait for the movie.
the trailer's making me go crazy, and am thinking of watching Twilight online.
hmmmm, i'd love to have some hot choclate........

2009-06-04T20:50:00.000-07:00

nabei cibai.
HAHAHAHHA ok i just felt like saying it :D

I LOVE LOVE LOVE TODAY♥~

life.

2009-06-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

"Two voices struggled inside me.
One that wanted to be good and brave,
and one that told the good one to keep her mouth shut."

When your feelings get mixed up, what would you do?
Whatever it is, I just feel like screaming till I feel satisfied.
And when I knew what I wanted (sort of), I was suddenly terrified of getting it.
Why do I feel hatred? -shrugs- Where is the love?
spread some love people.

New Moon Trailer's out. I can't wait.
November,come baby come!

a.n.g.r.y.

2009-05-31T13:10:00.000-07:00

GSS has started.
And why must it happen when I'm like terribly broke?
It happens every year! When I have the cash, there's no sale etc.
When I've finished all the money, all the sale(s) happens.
See, should have applied some job! Grrrrrr, I want lots and lots of new clothes etc la.
How? Grins. So irritating lah!

On a darker note, I have Audio Examintations tomorrow.
And I haven't lay my hands on the books yet, omg shikin.
MUST STUDY LA IDIOT.

2009-05-29T22:30:00.000-07:00

Had an dental appointment, almost died when I saw the equipments.
I have a tiny phobia when I visit the dentist, why?
My secondary school's dentist did a great job, but what she did was painful.
I got terrified after that, and when I had to get the same treatment as before.
I swear, I feel like cursing but thank God the private dentist numb my gums first.
Skipped school,hehe. Hi, holidays. Faints on monday!
Today don't have my favourite show, effing upset.
Hm, I am bored?

2009-05-29T01:08:00.000-07:00

"And you may not think that I care for you
when you know down inside that I really do
and it's me you need to show,how deep is your love"

I am mentally and physically tired. I swear I can repeat the word tired for I don't know how many times, cz I am very tired. Last week was packed with assignments, completed all the assignments. Rushed like crazy, but it's worth it though. Cross fingers, and I really hope I'll pass all the modules hm. Studio Production's Mini Project is really worrying me, K haven't pass me the damn storyboard. I don't wish to lose another 20%. Anyhoos, finally I've completed every single labsheet(s)/assignment(s) I'm supposed to do, and I'm proud of myself! Handed it in on time, well I don't usually hand in things on time so yeah.. Slowly, I am loving life. But not really to the fullest, I've yet to meet up with a hell lot of people and do things I've always wanted. Especially sleep long hours and have lots of time on my own! Ahh that sounds great already,hehe. Okay, I'm so called a "loner". Used to be one at home, and got comfortable with it, till I forgot about my surroundings most of the time! Hehe, my bad. One thing, I'm really looking forward to (longing for too!) is.... the school holidays! The word holiday has never fail to bring a smile to my lovely face HAHA! That's the best part of being a student, I guess? Cz, working adults are always working so hard and they even work during holidays sometimes! I want my school life to last longer,sigh. But life, moves on.. OK, skip that boring topic. I'd love to talk about yesterday. 27 May'09 hm, had an outing with the B's. Loved it, the day I took the Singapore Flyers for the very first time. Haha, it was fun! But, I didn't get enough of it! Felt so fast? But it was worth it,thanks to the student offer! Singapore's the best when it comes to this, haha. The view's beautiful. Not forgetting, joking around with the B's. Something I wouldn't trade with other things. They're one of the best souls that's entered my life, and am thankful to have them as friends. See, I'm sucha good/sweet friend! HAHAHA, k they're gonna go "eee" nevermind, nevermind. Right, I shall start excersing to lose weight all over again since I failed the last time. Nothing new at all, must keep healthy!

Oh ya, hi I'm updating xjunkies.bs! HAHAHA (-_-).
p.s. sorry if there's any typo/spelling error/broken english just can't be bothered to go through the post, as i am TIRED!

2009-05-19T22:27:00.000-07:00

we are one family, no?

Happy Birthday Daddy, i love you.

an update.

2009-05-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

I am so bored, I became numb. HAHA, okay sounds stupid.
So, I know I'm on hiatus on LJ,but I miss xjunkies.bs like so much,with all those memories aw.
Currently, having a very very bad headache,perhaps due to lack of sleep.
As I had to wake up like, 8plus in the morning just to attend Jnc's extra class @ AMK Mac.
Although I regretted coming, it was quite alright though. Hm.
Right now, my sore throat is slowly killing me, ouch? Huhu.
I have SP class test tomorrow in the morning,still I'm wasting time here.
I just can't concentrate, grins. The headache is slowing my brain down,don't blame me.
Hate this, I don't want to fail this year please. -complains-
ugh -___- 2nd year's so tough, fuck it.

hi, i love my love affair.
ps. do not have a boyfriend-_-

temporary.

2009-04-30T22:43:00.000-07:00

I won't be updating much here, will update at my LJ.
Ask for the link, personally if you want it. Try you luck baby.
Will try to update here, if I have the time :D
keep tagging though, will try my best to reply.

Note: This is temporary!

:D

2009-04-28T23:42:00.000-07:00

enjoyed school.
was entertained, and had fun.
had a great laughter.
i'm tired like no words can describe it!
i feel like skipping school tomorrow, hm..
a3/a4 shooting still not done.
4 more weeks to holidays, yay.
5 more days *rolls eyes* haha quite excited.
don't wanna sound so old, 18? ew.
had laksa earlier, and it didn't taste that bad. yum.
my feet's sore, damn damn pain.
body's aching.
ok i know,i sound like an grandma.
TAGS WILL BE REPLIED ASAP.
am tooooooo tired.
loves, xoxo.

a lazy sunday..

2009-04-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

My stomach hurts like fuck, I don't know why it hurts. But I guess I ate too much junk food, and sour fruits? Hmm, can that be the cause? Right now, I feel like cutting open my stomach for real. Anyhoos, it's Sunday! And it's not a good thing at all. Why? I have school tomorrow lah. Haiyoo.
Like so darn boring right, starts at 9am lagi. But, since when I'm early right? Haha, forget that for now. Hm, so Mummy's cooking something. I seriously don't get it,why is she cooking so much? And at the end of the day, she'll complain she's tired cz she cooked bla bla bla. I really think she wants me to grow fatter so she can make fun of me ): No la, that part kidding only. She's a nice person ok, a good Mummy. I love her to the max! I wanna sleep, sleep, sleep(but I can bet, I'll get smacked if I do). Currently, I'm loving the weather. I wish it rains everyday for now, it's so humid now. I seriously can't stand it, I can't sleep yesterday night due to the humid-ness. I nearly pull all my hair off my head (alright, too exaggerating I know). What's happening to the world man? I'm sad la, everything's going so haywire. I want to marry and have my own babies la, ish. Pure crap, better get going before more crap comes out. Rain, rain come again (^_^)..

a fun friday..

2009-04-24T22:35:00.000-07:00

Played UNO earlier with my little brother and Dad, I freaking won 3 times!! But, sadly I lost during the last match. It was painful, bcz the losers will get gentik (I don't know the english word, so I'll consider it as; PINCH). Luck was on my side, but I ran out of it. So nabei, when they lose only one time(pinch), mine was three times per person! See, see how unfair it is. But nevertheless, I don't mind. I had lots of fun for that hour and laughed like a mad person. Love, love, love! But, Dad's pinch was painful please, no mercy sia.. Haha, I want it to be everyday! If only.... Ok, moving on. My day was dull, did nothing much. I skipped school since there's no lesson, and even if I went we're not gonna do anything. As the other group is having their shoot, but usually I'll never wanna miss their shoot. Why? Cz got drama mamas! Hahahaha, very entertaining but oh well. All I did was, went online, showered, watched TV, met Dad and went swimming. I feel heathy after that, but lasted only for a while. Cz, ate Chicken Rice when I reached home,hehe. How to lose weight like this? But nevermind, I still keep going on.. No harm right? But one thing that's worrying me is that, if I continue swimming every week. My shoulders would go broad (whatever you spell it) and I don't wish for that to happen, as mine's already broad. So ugly ok, broad shoulders. BUT I AM THANKFUL TO HAVE SHOULDERS. Haha, hm.. Ya to the da, I'm craving for Burger King's Hershey's Sundae Pie, yummy.. Shall get my hands on it soon, perhaps tomorrow! :D

Next Sunday baby, hehehe.

P.A.S.T

2009-04-22T22:58:00.000-07:00

It hurts when the past keeps haunting me,I wish it never happened.
I am lost of words, I get speechless.
And I couldn't stand the sight of the scene,whenever I imagined it.
It comes out of the blue, who can I blame?
Well, perhaps myself for being so dumb when I was younger.
I should have known, but I ignored.
Mummy, give me a brainwash(ing) machine for my birthday.
But I'd like to keep the memories, I loved.
Wish you didn't exist. Die, I wanna see you suffer.
Sigh. On the verge of breaking down.

messy.

2009-04-19T23:21:00.000-07:00

"People are changing so fast, I can't catch up. Slowly, they're behaving like strangers and I don't like that feeling. Period."

I mean what I said above, some people are just becoming like strangers and I seriously don't like it. Is it me, or them? I'm trying to figure out, but oh well. Perhaps I'm just over thinking. And dear boy, I really hope S knows what he's doing. Anyhoos, life's been good for once. I'm loving time I spend with my family. Ofcz there are times when we have our ups and downs but it's fun. Hah, ok I sound dumb. (Saturday)Went JB as Mum wanted to collect some of her stuffs. But we spent more time together, doing things. Eg, watched a horror movie (which wasn't really scary to me, but my lil brother was irritating as usual with his "I'm scared, I'm scared" lines" till Dad got tired and bored he almost slept ok! Crazy, but his reaction was funny. Hm, did some shopping on things we needed. I'm still not satisfied bcz I haven't get my dress. Something I've wanted since forever. Ok, fyi I only have one dress. Call me pathetic but don't blame me for that alright. Cz money don't fall from the sky just like that. You have the earn for it, and how I wish I'm working and schooling at the same time. Nevermind, a few more months to go! And whenever we're in Malaysia we sure eat alot, I swear. Till Dad stomach got so round, I just couldn't stop laughing and making fun of it. Haha, tell me how to go slim like this? I'm so fat like a pig already, I want to slim down so badly. And I got to check my weight, not accurately cz I got on the scale (jumped on it actually HAHA) stayed for 2 stupid secs and got down. The weight I saw, 70kg. FUCKING FAT OK, I'm sorry if you can't resist the "omg shikin you're so fat lke a pig blah blah" I don't bloody care, say whatever you want. I just hope karma gets you! HAHAHA, ok evil. Yeah, I've built my self esteem,slowly it's getting better. But, I hope I won't get so used to it. And let myself become fatter, heh. Nvm, I hope swimming can help! Please shoulders, don't go broad (whatever you spell it). Ahuh, today was a pretty boring start for the day, but got fun. Watched FF4 half way via DVD haha, and Mum wanted to send some items to her friend's house. I voulenteered to follow, as usual. I did not regret following despite being so fucking tired. I love witnessing my parents have this fighting cum joking scene. They just don't want to give in to each other,and they can go on debating for hours! Funny yet cute, aw I love them so much. Nvm, went Thomson Plaza cz Dad wanted to purchase something. But didn't managed to find the shop. Bought donuts, yum. Ate at the mini Banquet. Walked around, I'm sad I didn't got anything from there. Ahhhhhhhhh,uhm. Visited my cousin, as he had an accident. Very careless, this is making me freak out, haha cz I've always wanted a bike license, now he's making me think twice, haiyer! &Went home, while Mum and Dad did a little shopping for grocerries/fishes! Watched my fave tv show. And here I am! Still not asleep, I hope I can wake up for schoooool! And I wish tomorrow will be fun, mwah! Lol. PS. I want those things on wetseal.com oh mummmmy! I'm so very sad )):

BORING POST,dont bother reading rly.

2009-04-14T23:07:00.000-07:00

"I'm letting you fade,like how an old picture fades it colour"

Eventhough I don't have the mood to post about anything, I'll try and not make it sound childish. So! Despite it's only the second day of school, I'm so shagged and tired of it.. Okay, if you're someone who reads my blog, you'll know how much I hate school, never get tired of complaning bout it, heehehe. Will let that pass, cz I'm very excited to tell you about something! Nothing great,still.... I FUCKING LOVE FAST AND FURIOUS 4, so must watch ok, + will love you! (I fell in love with the botak botak man,so muscular -winks-),thank you very much (^_^) and hm, shockingly I attended morning classes (the teachers were shocked,and kept disturbing me, zz) but skipped the second one! Lols, cz basically we know we won't do anything except for surfing our own website, but all I'll do is sleep because? The internet loading,takes almost half an hour! I rather spend my time sleeping lor, and ohyeah! I don't know why, after school reopens, I get sleepy very fast(or is it early?), and very tired. Hm, but nevermind la. Sacrifices! I'm a strong girl,haha. But I'm effing deffing tempted to skip school please,ugh. Ok, wait, shall concentrate on the tv show! OR I'll regret. Srry, wuppy will update soon more bout unboring things,caloh. Laughzz.

Oh, I want to watch the movie again ley,anyone? HAHA.

you and I both love.

2009-04-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Currently I'm pissed because, someone, just someone had to interrupt me watching my favorite TV drama series. Thank God for youtube.com, I love you and esp the person who's so kind by posting the show up! Hm, so school's starting next week. Eventhough I miss my kick ass friends, I'm not ready for school. I want more holidays, can't wait for June.

On a brighter(darker on some part!) note, despite Mom was feeling sleepy and lazy to step out of the house(Gd Friday,not working mahz) I did had a great time at home. Why? Got to watch my fave show! Haaaa, okay I have a lot of fave shows now. Can't blame me for it, blame it on the show for being nice.. Heh, ahhh and I really do hope we'll go out tomorrow. Heard Dad's planning to go Prawn Fishing again. Boring, yet hm fun (if I get a chance to fish for a few minutes to satisfy myself ^_^ haha)! And oh ya, might get some of the stuffs I need finally. I'm happy, eventhough there's nothing great about it. Still, I get to spend. Kk, excited cz I haven't been buying things I want these holidays mainly cz I didn't get any allowance and I'm like a black hole. Nooooooo money )))))): Any part-time job vacancies? :D

And now, since there's nothing much to do. I guess, I'll wait for the show to be uploaded cum find Indonesian's drama to watch, I like! Heeeeh, oh rightttt. I've changed my email, added some of you. Sorry if I haven't add you eh, haven't completedddddddd. Try and find me, nyekkkk. No lah, no lah, later I add you. &if you're still not added at the end of the day, and want to be added. Tag me*kening up-up. Easy said, try your luck! Finally, a proper post, I suke. For now, I'm off :D

&For you Liyana Baby, stay strong alright? I'm sure everything's gonna be alright, and it will be back to normal. I forgot to say, I'm terribly sorry cz I didn't meet you during the holidays despite me promising. I'm so sorry, like very. I love you k. Heh, janji meet sooooooooon. X♥X♥!!

stuck in between darkness and light.

2009-04-10T00:01:00.000-07:00

"I'm losing, losing myself again. Over and over again, I'm lost in my own train of thoughts. I feel so numb, I can't think right. Hey baby, if I fall, would you be there to pick me up and fix my broken pieces like a puzzle you love to solve?"

Is it normal to feel.. different? I mean, like you're someone you're not.
Hm, life's been the same. Nothing changed, I guess. But, I miss myself,big time!
Might be removing tagboard, and I'm thinking of deleting, Fs, Fb plus a new email.
I feel so, annoyingly fuckedup.
I feel dumb.

Haha, okay I feel like _______.
Lalalala.

On the verge of breaking down.

2009-04-08T22:51:00.000-07:00

"Every feeling rushed into me, letting me feel rejected. I'm on the verge of breaking down,but sigh..
Am I strong enough, strong enough to face this? I'm hating my life I'm leading, I miss me. Ya allah, give me some strength."

Tags will be reply, asap.
Sorry for all the delays, Imy people.
Xoxo.

2009-04-02T23:54:00.000-07:00

I am angry because internet's getting slower!
I am angry because I can't bloody on my fucking handphone!
I am angry because even if I try to on it, I need to fucking press the on button for atleast 5mins!!
I am angry because everything seems irritating!
I am angry because I feel paranoid!
I am angry because my bloody idiot MSN is not working!
I am angry because whenever I download a new MSN, it can't work!!!!!!!!
I am angry because I am angry!
And I feel like cutting my head off my body,fuck lahh ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nbcb.

2009-04-01T15:37:00.000-07:00

Ouch I have lost myself again

Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe..

Hello, April Fool's Day.

edited.

Rather in a confused postion. Should I, or shouldn't I?
But I don't want anyone to be hurt. No, not talking about love shit.
Something,well I prefer telling only who needs to know.
Hm, fuck the situation. (oh well,I'll see how it goes..)

sighs.

2009-03-30T23:20:00.000-07:00

Guilty. I've never wanted to grow to be an anti-social.
But I got too used being alone,I forgot about my surroundings.
I'm sorry to all of you know who you are,for not msg-ing to plan an outing so far.
I promise,I will soon.
I'm broke.... like very broke(my ppd's low too!!!!!!). I need $$.
( well,that's one of the reason I didn't plan an outing:( )
Oh you charming rich man,marry me.

잃어버린 영혼, 그래서 빈처럼. 이 깨진 느낌이 떨어져 하루에 한 괜찮아, 흠 갈 것입니다.
and I hush my urge to cry.

well,i enjoyed my sunday.

2009-03-30T00:08:00.000-07:00

Right now, I'm fucking pissed with I don't know what. My bones hurt, am darn restless not forgetting irritated. And my ear drums might explode any minute,as I've been listening to the radio since noon? Cuz, I desperately want to know this particular song which I still can't find(been searching high and low for it since yesterday horh!). I'm not happy with it,and even though I thought of giving up a couple of times. I hold on,and told myself patience is worth it. But, my god. Anyhoos, I'm miss the moments where someone would overnight at my house during the holidays,ok basically we always take turns sleeping at each other's house. Our parents slash grandparents do nag,and we'll just ignore. Having her company is like,hello fun day. Hm, since she's busy with some stuffs,we're delaying it. Hope it'll happen though! Even for a short while,but why not? Miss gossiping please! &I think I'm having a mini pimple breakout? Freaking out like nbcb! Haiyaaa I very lazy already la,update soon and tag replies tmr:) omg april in a few days time, ohhh noooooooooooo,fuck fuck fuck. holidays please don't go. stay, i say stay pleaseee.

hmmmm saturdays...

2009-03-29T02:50:00.000-07:00

Spent my whole day watching American's Next Top Model Cycle 11 and a few others videos, hm and did a lil' housework as Mum was nagging. Yes, most of the time I do it when I'm told. I'm an lazy ass, I know. Sort of got excited about the Earth Day thing,which we're suppose to off all the lights and stuffs. And oh well,coincidentally my favorite show is on the TV screen,I just couldn't resist. Well,I cheated abit. Hm,Dad decided to send elder brother some food at his work place. Er, he managed to coax Mom into following. Cz, he thought of heading Changi. We did, was great. Learned about something, about life actually. Stared at the empty sky, with the stars,pretty. Am tired,very tired. Need some sleep,long hours! Thank you,heh. Tsk,Mum's expecting us to be ready at 0730hours(cz she planned to go to ECP as a family and cycle together, braggggyyyyy) and so dead..... Almost 3 in the morning,I'm still awake. Gantung.

sick.

2009-03-26T23:28:00.000-07:00

Bones hurt, I feel sick and irritatingly weak. And I have this problem where, I just can't get the right sleeping position that's comfortable. Rotate countless of times,but nothing works. And I get body aches every morning,very annoying. I'm sure no one likes waking up in such pain. I wish Mum will buy me a king size bed,more space to sleep on. I'm sure I'll be more than comfortable. Ok,let's not brag. So right now, I'm bored but chatting with a friend who can make laugh with the silliest things ever, hm guess that's enough to entertain me eh. And currently,waiting for some show. Tick faster please! And, good news to me ok! So must share with all of you, want to know what? I've started jogging cum cycling! Hahaha, ok haven't feel healthier but a lil sick after the jog earlier,perhaps cuz my body's not used to the new system. I hope I won't get sick lorh. Pray for me eh! Hahaha, okkkkkk crap. Oh, i wanna wish! NISSSSSSS a, HAPPY SWEET 19TH BIRTHDAY (^_^) I hope you enjoed your day celebrating it with your loved ones eh darling,hahaha. Now,I can't wait for my birthday. Incominggggg present,heeeeehk! and I belly lazy ah wanna change my blog song, anyone want to voulenteer or not? Dan, liyana baby sorry I couldn't make it today,and didn't reply your msg earlier cuz my ppd's low :( I'm so sorry! Plus, calls? I don't really responds to call, yes I know what's a handphone for then right? Msg-ing! Haaha, anything msg. Try your luck,calling*wink!*

2009-03-25T13:44:00.000-07:00

I.am.so.bloody.hell.fat.I.feel.like.crying.my.fats.out.and.be.skinny.in.an.instant.please.

At times, I get so depressed about my body weight and such. Promised myself countless of times, over and over again to do something about it,still I'm like a pig in the mud lying lifelessly, rolling over it and munching away 24/7. Despite old habits die hard, I desperately need to do something about it. I've thought of swimming and jogging, anyone wanna join? Ok,now this is really pathetic. So right now, I'm lazing around doing nothing. Still in PJ's, yeah it's already 1333hours and I haven't bath. Heck. Listening to songs,and just chatting. A girl simply with no life. I wish SG is cooler and not boring. Mummy,Daddy let's migrate! Sydney, Paris, London, anywhere better please. Nevermind that,anyhoos can't wait for the damn chalet. And I don't want 6th and 7th April to come so soooon,ugh. Off. Cuz,I'm speechless? and er, my little wisdom tooth hurts when i chew on it,and hurts my upper gums, kanina please. I need a dentist!!!!!

boring post,hahahahahahaha.

2009-03-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

I'm back! Ok,actually from yesterday lah. I did type out some words but I decided to backspace everything because suddenly I became restless. Very typical of me though,I guess. So the holiday was awesome even though at times it felt like a normal school day because I was forced to wake up as early as 7am horh because Mom die die want me to follow her go breakfast so that she won't waste it since it's free (cause Dad and elder brother were lazy to go-_- like thanks right!). Well, and the room's beautiful! I like,I like. The lights, the mirrors. I don't mind having a bedroom like that,please. And since it was full of mirrors, I was admiring myself almost every minute,HAHA! Ok, so you can't blame a girl for being so vain,can you? The facilites weren't that bad,but rather disappointing to my point of view. But oh well, I enjoyed playing pool. Nyeeehhhh, I won a few times! Yayy me. Ah, talking bout the room I was freezing, mainly everyone is lah. Cuz elder brother bloody hell set the air conditioner to 10 degree celsius ok! Waaa, imagine going to the winter countries, confirm frozen to death ok. Like seriously,and ofcourse there were times when I kept telling myself I will die the next day! Haaa, because so damn cold lah. What else eh? Hm, ate alot, that's a must! Now, my stomach like seriously three months preg. MUST JOGGING already! CANNOT BE LAZY LIKE PIG! Bought some clothes eventhough Mom insisted we can't shop. But thanks to Dad, I love him so very the much! He treated us♥ Now, school's out. I SUKA! &pictures will be updated here!

2009-03-18T22:05:00.000-07:00

old computer, you asshole. i fucking hate you, internet explorer you're an asshole. anyways, will be away on 21st to hm.. 23rd? hello you lovely thing called holiday.

sry taggers,will reply soon.

im off.

i need some sleep.long hours!

2009-03-14T13:05:00.000-07:00

There's time where I feel like I'm lost in my own track of thoughts, I can't hear myself and I don't understand what's going on. I have the urge to breakdown but I stand strong because I know I'm strong. But I get nervous, I feel like throwing up and I have a hard time trying to act normal. Not trying to say that I'm insane, and when I encounter the feeling I hide like a turtle. Hide in it's shell and stay away from the crowd. Only comes out when I think it's safe or with people I feel comfortable with, mostly close ones. I hate to say that I'm anti-social since I love making new friends but I guess I need time to figure out what I really want.. Which I'm unsure of currently. To be honest, I don't really know what I'm trying to say but slowly figuring out.. I give a thousand and one reasons to avoid outings at times (so sorry), cause I got too comfortable staying at home and I'm just lazy to move my bloody ass up and go cuz I feel a lil uncomfortable outdoors. Low self esteem, what do ya expect? Right now, I wish for a miracle would happen. I'd like answers, why, why I'm feeling so lost? I can barely think, and I'm pretty afraid.. Afraid to know what's gonna happen in the future, I need to wake up and be myself, pronto! Ahhh, I hate life. Still, thankful that I've gotten a chance to see how beautiful and wonderful HIS creations are. Thank you for the opportunity.
Or am I a coward? Hmm..

PS. Insan (Habbo) wants to organize an outing for us (Habbo-ians/PG people). Anyone wanna come? Most prolly, 28th March? Please inform me,if you're intrested. Plan's still on pending.

2009-03-11T22:45:00.000-07:00

(click imagine to enlarge)"the most precious thing in a human life are memories.
cause humans without memories are not humans.
humans without memories are empty and they only eat, drink and sleep.
one thing you have to know, memories can change everything,
because with sweet memories, it could destroy all the hatred feeling."

I almost gave up hope on further education while I was browsing through some courses that some Polytechnics in Singapore are offering. Was literally cursing, and almost broke down because Mum always wanted me to get into Poly but I kept disappointing her with my remarks when she tells me to try my best so I'll be able to enter Poly and my past GPA doesn't seem pleasing enough. I'm feeling hopeless but Liyana showed me a touching and inspiring video about a man who has no hands and legs.. Ah, I might be posting it on the next post if I remember. I almost teared (crybaby I know) as it's very sad ok. It really touched my heart. Right after watching it, and talking about it with Liyana baby, giving up isn't a good thing. Yes, never give up is what you should tell yourself whenever you're in a difficult situation etc. If someone could do it, why can't we right? Nothing is impossible if you have the determination to do something. Ok, I bet I sound like a boring leturer already that's making the students sleepy. And Didi, I know you're one strong boy. Do not let your feelings take over you and never think about taking short cuts in life for eg. suicide. I know, love is painful when you're in bad terms with your partner, just remember there's always ways to solve it between you two. You know I love you right fucker? Haha, chin up! So, school was boring as usual. Had audio production and I'm almost done with one assigment but one is uncompleted. Editing video and audio isn't something I wanna do in the future, I bet I'll delay every single thing and rush one day before the dateline. How responsible of me eh? Despite it all, I really had fun, well I do everyday. No matter how fucked up we all are, we will come out with a stupid joke and it will totally make our own days right people?! Hah, ok they know what I'm talking about. On a boring side, haha I'm addicted to a malay song titled "Di Antara Kalian by D'Masiv", been playing it repeatedly since 8pm. HAHA crazy I know! & I can't wait for next Friday, helloooooooooooooo holidays!

"ku cintaimu, tak berarti bahwa ku harus memilikimu selamanya.."

p@rty t!m3.

2009-03-10T21:47:00.000-07:00

I miss the watching movies at the theater and the atmosphere of it. Volume blasted to the maximum volume through the speaker, awesome feeling. Well, at first I'll tend to curse at the beginning because I got shocked by the sudden volume but I miss it. Rehearsal wasn't bad (eventhough I almost died because I got too nervous) but the control room's air conditioner wasn't working and it felt like there was a sun above our heads. Alright exaggerating, I know. I got confused with the audio machine, I almost cried because there were times where I hold up everything. Wasn't a nice feeling, to feel. Yet, manageable. I hope it's making sense. Right now, even though I've watched Ong Bak 2 at the theater I have the urge to watch it online later. It's very tempting, the fighting scenes, awesome! Grins.. And I feel like munching something, whereas I just ate about an hour ago. HAHAHAHA fat pig I know.

i'm coming back for more..

2009-03-09T22:21:00.000-07:00

My mind's in a mess, I'm thinking about a lot of things at one time. But right now, I'm figuring out whether I can wake up in the morning to attend morning classes cause I need the attendance for that modules or I might have to stay back for 6 months just to do it all over again. Secondly, my group will be having an rehearsal for Assignment 2 and I'm in-charge of the audio fuck thing. I did practice earlier, but I swear I'm so confused at times and I need to speed up or I'll screw everything. I don't want that to happened,duh. If not, I'm sure they'll keep yelling at me to do my work properly. Oh Allah, please help me. *cross fingers* and I'm pissed by someone. And colours are really playing with my darn feelings. Colours, colours, go die la you! I almost picked on a fight, because of it. Tell me,how silly can that be. School was stupid. And I got confused again,about weeks etc. Plus, someone haven't return my thumdrive and have been keeping very quiet about it, since last year eh friend? Ninabu! Mom's so gonna kill me.

On a lighter note, I miss all my friends, every single one of them. Everyone! Why you all never ask me out one? Forget me already is it! How could all of you do this to me! Eeeeeee, very sad siak! Ok nevermind eh like that, haha ok just kidding. But March, isn't my kind of month. Cuz, I really despise going out on a rainy weather. Ruin everything! Top to toe, and risk! I might slip cuz of my slippers, ahhh ain't gonna let that happen*wink*

Not forgetting, I think my metabolism died last summer. How much or little I eat, I still gain weight siak, nabucheeebaii must do something already! March holidays, jog and jog and jog, hee hor.

this is real,this is me.

2009-03-08T22:35:00.000-07:00

Daim choclate bars, you're the sex. Yummmmmmy!

Watched Zathura, the little boy's effing cute.
Surf net, and kept an eye on little brother.
Waited for his tuition to end.
Had shower, got ready, Mum called.
Ate, waited for Mum and out we go..
Dad and little brother went fishing, I never liked it.
Mum and I decided to go IKEA to do some mini-shopping.
Got some scented stuffs, I love them!
Currently, pampering myself with some Daim choc candy! Ahh heavens.
Went back the the fishing farm place,where Dad and lil bro is at.
Laughed at some human beings,for their kiasu acts.
Sat, bored, laughed, talked, drank, had some snacks.
Dinner at Pasir Ris, Downtown East area.
Home, but I decided to get something at Shop & Save.
Home Sweet Home.
Ate cockles, ate that delicious pasta.
HAHAHA OMG I KNOW I EAT ALOT.
I need to exercise, big time!
I can't wait for holidays, and 21st.
Thinking if I should sleep early or late.
I'm running out of ideas, the end.
I think I'll watch something online, nights.

it grows deeper every second..

2009-03-06T23:07:00.000-08:00

I'm beginning to be afraid of the time.
It's ticking so fast, I wish it would slow down..
I know this is silly, and you might be wondering.
Why? Why afraid of the time, isn't it better?
But baby, I'm not ready to lose anyone dear to me to go forever.
I want time to stop ticking(maybe reverse it), I don't mind repeating everything..
Ahh, this sounds so greedy. But we're not getting younger, but older.
Go figure...

&&Cheer up loves!
Plus, I'm currently pissed with someone,something. pft.

su-su-HI-dhiiiiiiiiii.

2009-03-05T21:14:00.000-08:00

The video above was taken a few mintues ago. Victim, Didi my beloved cousin. Since his hair has grown long, I took advantage of it. I like it! Tied his hair and thought of taking a picture but since my little brother was the videography cum photographer he took a video. I almost fought with him as I was losing my grip but we managed to captured both baby! Haha, sorry for the voice. I was shouting literally, and listen to what he said. Darn funny, and the last part. I swear he sounds constipated. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Right now, I really can't wait for the chalet as it's just a day before his birthday, so not his month! Ok, I am excited and I can't stop smiling to myself. Shall blog sooooon maybe later for a second post. Hahahahahahahahahaha.

crapszzzz.

2009-03-04T21:30:00.000-08:00

"Whatever happens around you today will feel like a drama that you simply can't control. You are right: You can't control this. But being powerless in a situation doesn't have to make you feel hopeless about that situation. Sometimes, it's a liberating feeling to know that you can't do much to change the situation. Going with the flow is pleasing to you, anyway, right now, so just do what feels good! Trying to make the day be exactly what you want it to be will only be a mammoth waste of your time."

Things are getting weird these days, I figured out what. But what's the reason, I'm still finding.. It happened so suddenly, very! School was like normal, only that there were a few people who made me really pissed and I had headache *coughs* I hate going to Audio Production classes nowadays, because at times, I'm just wasting my time doing some boring stuffs. I shall not brag about it, as I've been whining about it for a few times already. Oh, and he was very annoying indeed. I'm beginning to hate the sight of his face, he wanna act like one big fucker in front of the insert word. Plus, I saw a few things I wasn't suppose to see. Definitely not ghost, but well I rather not mention it. Just so you know, I'm a happy girl because Mom confirmed with me that the chalet she told me about earlier is already confirmed! BBQ, here I come. Haha, okay what a pig. Eat, sleep, eat, sleep. I know, I realize ok! There are some reasons which I'm looking forward on the day itself, of course! Please don't back out last minute :( and I wanna have fun! And 21st March I'm gonna love you! I'm sure of it, and hoping! I'll be away for that day, and prolly the night before not forgetting the day after. Might be back at night on the 22nd? Rightttttt, I know I know I'm like talking about some bullshit to myself. But who cares, I love talking to myself! Not. Had some pasta for so called dinner, and it's yummy only a little salty! Canned food, what do you expect? This is very important by the way! Take note...................................I need a new wardrobe and accecories. With lots of pretty and beautiful things in it! Please, please, please I want $$. Am thinking about working hm...

yes or no?

2009-03-03T10:50:00.000-08:00

Post number 210. Okay, I didn't even realized it was already that much, shall read all the post again, delete everything(if I'm not lazy!) and perhaps start all over again. Hah, what's the use of keeping stupid memories which doesn't do any good but haunt you and give you flashbacks. Well, normally that's when the pain comes again. I think, so whatever. Yes, I skipped morning class but I promised myself to attend afternoon's class. I'm afraid I'm going to break it again, like I always do. It was pouring earlier, maybe it's still pouring right now. I can't be bothered to check, as I'm freezing to death and I don't want to move from the comfortable position I am in right now zz. The weather is just so nice to resist, I'm sleepy already. Cuz, I had to wake up so damn early eventhough I wasn't intending to go for morning class. Reason, had to collect my passport at the ICA building. New, new passport. Nice but so clean. Ha, nevermind. So, Nrl reminded me that next friday is my last week of school. I just can't get over the fact, that I forgotten about it. And I swear, I thought it was next month. Okay, okay I'm always in my own world at times. Sorry. Now, I shall start debating alone. To ditch school, or attend school.

oh. And I MISS STARBUCKSSSSSS. java chip frap, gosh...yummy!

/editted.

"Bring a new endeavor to the next level. You're ready whether you know it or not."

Currently I'm feeling very sleepy but I'm forcing myself to stay awake for no valid reasons. I didn't mention I flung my test paper for Studio Production right? So, yeah I did badly I'm sure of it. Even Ms J said, there are some failures and like Jamie said, I'm not surprised if I failed. Nothing much happened in school, but I had a bad start. Mr L was nagging and insist for a reason why we skipped school yesterday. I was rather pissed, and guilty. Very guilty. But nevermind, I managed to cheer myself up. On the other hand, (okay I forgot what I wanted to say)! Forget it, so ahhhh I do not have the mood to attend L's class. But I really have no more other choice, I swear, being debarred is not in my wishlist. Yaduda, I hate nervous feeling and being all so smiley when I see you appear online, OMG SHIKIN. And I've included a tagboard for this skin, and feel free to tag. Die, die must tag okay! Hahahahahahahahahaha ok evil grins! ( I might be deleting this blog and make a new one, with a new link. Idk! Just can't make up my mind. Help? :/ )

crush,crush,crush..

2009-03-02T22:50:00.000-08:00

This feeling has to stop, pronto!

So I'll consider it's rainy season, as it's been raining for days. I like the rainy days, but I do hate it at times because I don't like to get wet when I'm all dressed up for an outing. Unless, I'm planning to get wet(ok that's a different story). But it's nice though, reason, I get to sleep peacefully, comfortably with the nice nice weather, ahhh how lovely. Oh, as for the pictures for passion arts. I've text Ifah about it, and Santhiya if you were to read this. Don't wait anymore, go see! Haha, I didn't expect it to be so little cause it felt like I took thousands of pictures. Oh well. I miss taking photos too. I haven't been taking any pictures of myself anymore (minus passion arts day) cuz I've gotten lazier. And I haven't fulfill something, which is to capture some pictures with Seriiiiii, I miss that girl alot! Soon eh baby sooon, I'm waiting for the day when I'm totally free! So many things to do, yet so little time. How depressing, plus I do hope the chalet will still be on as I want some cousins of mine to attend. I'd like to call it, a small reunion kind of thing. Besides I haven't met some of my cousins (mother's side) for quite sometime already. That includes Md Suhaidi, a cousin who I used to see everyday. With his silly face and ridiculous wave whenever I reach home and open my door. oh nevermind, I shall stop here before I spill crap. Cuz to be honest, I have nothing, zero, in my head when I am typing. It sort of, just come naturally. Natural talent like that, haha ok kidding. Goodnight loves.

&holidays are drawing nearrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, ah im fucking loving it.

evann..ah melts.

2009-03-01T14:55:00.000-08:00

I've been looking through pictures and videos about them since the moment I woke up. This is random I know, but I just can't stop saying "awww". They're like born to be together,so loving, so sweet.. But sadly, they're just bestfriends. But I know, we know, she knows, he loves her! Why Avril why? Haha, kidding. Evan's cute, nyehehehe. Okay shutup. So, I wanted to update about this only. I'm like so excite lah ok!! Sorry, proper update soon! I'm hungry! err.

sweetness baby sweetness!
I want a boyfriend like that can? HAHA!

what i like about you.

2009-02-28T17:45:00.000-08:00

you somehow made my heart beat so hard, it hurts.
is this the feeling when you're in love? err..
btw, passion arts was considered great. pictures will be posted/send soon.
sorry for delaying. off to watch something online.

right now, I feel like pulling my head off my body.
why did I became so rude, fuck you shikin.
she's angry, and i don't know where to start.. I want to say sorry so badly!
mummy, i don't want to go to bed mad at you. i don't want you to go to bed mad at me.
but i guess, everything's too late. i messed every single thing up.
still, i love you the most :(

need i say more.

2009-02-26T21:52:00.000-08:00

Taurus baby..
Bottom Line : Someone's going to be in a hurry today, but that doesn't mean they get to rush you.
In Detail : Someone is going to be in a hurry today, and they might think that gives them the right to rush you, too. But today, speed could create some problems for you. You've been going at the right pace for your life, and it's not wise to change that now just to make things convenient for someone else. You can't let other people push you around, no matter how insistent or powerful they might be. If these folks are in such a hurry, just let them speed off on their own, without you.

Have some sense of emergency Shikin! That's something someone would always say to me, and right now, I'm feeling it. Like a major one. I feel like shit. Fuck it.

If I'm falling... falling apart.

khairul belo!

2009-02-24T23:36:00.000-08:00

So, I didn't realize I've been sick for almost 2 weeks. Eventhough I was feeling better in between those days, my body cheated me. Now I feel so zombie-ish, and my stomach cramp was killing me literally earlier. I had girl's red light thingy, for once, I gotta agree with Liyana, I'm sick of being a girl at times. If I were a boy....

After the explanation above, I think it's obvious that I skipped school again today. I swore, I felt like stabbing my damn tummy with a knife and get over with the pain. But no, I just cried and cried.. Haha, like small girl eh. But nevermind la, I'm still strong like always! Haaaaa, anyhoos on a brighter and lighter note got to catch up times with someone. Despite feeling awkward at first, it went pretty well later on.. Ha, ahh I didn't know K is a funny person ah. Okay, so we were never close in primary school and didn't really contact until like yesterday. I mean, ya lah, talked before but that was decades ago. Does that make sense? Wtvr it is, I hope he won't tell something to someone. Enough of typing and talking and blah blah, someone can't wait to use the laptop and disturbing me. Very very annoying and irritating! YES, the person is my Md Khairul! My elder brother, fyi. Blog soon, haha. Just hope I remember bout my blog eh. Caloh Beteh. Ps. I swear I dont know why I'm laughing to much. Huahuahuahahihihihehehehehehehuhuhu!

$_$

2009-02-21T12:22:00.000-08:00

Despite all the drama, I enjoyed my day in school like I always do. Lots of laughter, jokes etc. I'm supposed to be asleep now as we're heading to Johor first thing in the morning, but I'm still awake and I'm sure I'll be unhappy when Mum wake me up in the morning. Sacrifice for the family! See, I'm such a family girl and a good one too. I hope tomorrow will be great. I'm freaking out literally as I've got nothing to wear tomorrow. If only I'm a rich girl, I don't mind going shopping almost everyday! Haha, okay I'm sure I'll go bankrupt in only a weeks time by then!

And since it's past midnight,
Happy Birthday Abg.

“Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today.”
-James Dean.

my heart goes sha-la-la-la-la!

2009-02-19T06:34:00.000-08:00

I don't really know what to blog about, but I'll try to do some brainstorming while typing this shit. Apologize if it's boring or not making sense at all. Anyway, school was good. Even though I have the urge to skip school. What do you expect from a lazy girl like me? Today, I don't know why, but I was tired of laughing today in class due to to much laughing. Till I became very restless and literally out of breath. That's how, you know who you are, can simply make my day and laugh for the whole day in class. You will never get bored with them, but just get prepared to be laughed. Haha, whatever I'm talking about. Oh, anyway, I'm glad tomorrow is Friday because that means weekends are very near. Sleep, sleep like a pig on weekends! Hallelujah! But on the other hand, there's a small yet big possibility, I'm not sure that we might be headed Johor for some reasons. Uh, I hope I don't have to wake up darn early in the morning lorh. Mum said, we might be having dinner somewhere tomorrow cuz we're celebrating Bro's birthday in advance (Happy Advanced Birthday Ass!) as he has plans with his mates on Saturday. yadaaaaabaaboo, I feel like cooking Mac and Cheese cause looks and sounds Yuuuuuu-my! I don't feel like going to school tomorrow, lala. I'm off to undo my hair knots eh? Isit called hair knots? Plus I need to trim my hair to get rid of the split ends and dry ones, pronto! Nevermind, it's all messed up, fuck! I feel so shagged, very very shagged! Grumpy old girl.

everything you say, everytime we kiss, i can't think straight.

2009-02-18T12:52:00.000-08:00

" Family and friends keep me going.."

Thanks Liyana for being concern, love you babygirl. Ella baby, keep going on, you know there are friends who will always be there when you're in need. And keep on getting strong, heh, love ya too. And K, stop being careless. Well you know very well, what I'm talking about. Okay no, you don't even read my blog. But whatever it is, I hope everything's going to be alright and nothing more than a warning.. I'm hoping tomorrow will start with a great day, fresh air.. Ahh, how I love the smell of morning air. But unfortunately, my flat isn't near any big fields.Unlike, someone's house. Always talking about it, and always make me jealous. But nevermind, and yeah, I somehow miss the village/kampung atmosphere. But my number one enemy about the place is the mosqitoes. Assholes. I miss some people there too, especialy some special ones. I don't know how my life is without my family and friends. Despite countless of times I complain about them, hating etc. They're the only one who will forever be at heart. Not even an inch of them, I'll forget. Chey, haha. I miss my childhood days very much. I tend to talk about it, to a particular cousin of mine, Suhaidi. Sorry eh Di, I always can't shut about it. Haha, kept talking nonsense, but you're on my the best cousins I got. Love kau, okay shall stop being mushy. Anyhoos, did I mention I skipped school again? So yeah,I did. As I'm still not feeling well, I thought I was going to be breathless and die miserably, haha. Okay exagerrating, hm. Did nothing much, but I ate 4 fucking meals! Despite all that junk, I still felt hungry. I don't like it, cuz that means I'm going to gain weight. I'm pretty sure I weigh close to fucking seventy kg. Fuck fuck fuck numbers. I want to stop tying, cuz I don't want more shits to be typed out. Sleepy, sleepy.. Thank God, school starts in the afternoon later on.

AND
(something that made my day!)

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA, FCKING CUTE.

title.

2009-02-16T21:45:00.000-08:00

“With a full glass and an empty heart, I search for something to occupy my mind”

When I'm sick, I wish I wasn't sick. But when I'm not sick, I wish I was sick (so I can skip school) but on the other hand I couldn't stand the torture.. As in the pain. I feel like shit, I do not know how to sleep in that kind of condition. I couldn't sleep yesterday night, and ended up having a bad dream when I finally entered the wonderland. Whatever that means alright. Skipped school, and might skip tomorrow too. I hope I get well soon though,so I could go to school tomorrow. As there might be rehearsal, fuck.

living zombie.

2009-02-15T14:26:00.000-08:00

"Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid"

Skin might be temporary, or might be used for a long period of time. Sorry cause I removed things such as, tagboard, links and profile. Oh right, currently I'm debating whether to stop blogging or change my url. So either way, I'll let everyone know sooner or later alright. Cause, I always get clueless what to type about the moment I stare at the create post page. Sundays aren't my days, I've always hated Sundays but the part where it's part of weekends still makes me smile, slightly. There's nothing interesting to do, or there's nothing to watch on the television screen. Next time, if you want to make a channel, please show more shows, and not repeated ones can? I got sick of them already. Anyways, Mum plan was to wait for Dad to come home and we'll head to Sembawang Shopping Centre as she wants to buy some groceries, etc. And next thing in her mind was to go to Sembawang Park and play badminton (excercise sake) after that have our dinner. But I do not see the reason to tire myself as we're going to eat after some excercise. That might make my body system haywire. But, guess what? Mum just woke up and she cancelled the plan, how nice of her -_-. Nevermind, by the way, I think I got up from the wrong side of the bed. My neck hurts like fuck, I do not know why but it's affecting my ears too. Not forgetting sore thoart. I'm a living zombie. I feel so dead deep inside, but my body is forcing itself to stay alive. I'm so tired, so restless and my body is aching like nobody's business. I wish I could get a massage to get myself free from the pain. I need food too, cuz I haven't had my breakfast nor lunch. Mum didn't cook. I am hungry, hungry, hungry. Should I go to school tomorrow, or skip? I'm fucking shagged. I think I should search for some Indonesian sinetrons on youtube, to entertainment me for the time being. Bye!

micheal ah, u so hot lah.

2009-02-14T22:30:00.000-08:00

Taurus ; You can't let other people's jealousy get you down. If they feel threatened by your success, that is their problem -- not yours. Your job today is to just keep on being smarter and faster. Once you stop caring about what other people are freaking out about, you'll feel a lot freer -- which in turn will help you be even better at what you do! Serve as a good example to others by being honorable and not getting down in the mud with someone full of envy.

Despite the fact that I'm feeling a little pissed because I accidentally deleted something important (to me) and like I said before not being able to find a new pretty yet plain skin without nagivations (did I spell it correctly?), you can say I'm a happy girl for a moment^! Well, my day started with me being so moody because I was forced to helped Mummy at East Coast park, and she woke me up so darn early, I swear I nearly ditched her. But I swear, I'd regret if I didn't follow. Because well, we went there because there was something she had to help out and there were booths (we were one of us) selling second and first hand things, inclduing clothes and dresses, screams? Haha, well, I didn't exactly get the dresses I've been dying to own which is, a pretty kimono dress. I did enjoy myself and feeling pretty satisfied with what I bought earlier. Love love the crazy sale, heh. But, ofcourse I was so annoyed because it was scorting hot. It was burning my skin, literally. Like a enormous microwave oven ok! Thank god for the "shelter" no wait, I think it was called canopy? Ahh kk whatever. Blah, blah. My stomach was being upset, till I ended in the toilet for I don't know how many times. Plus, I nearly, NEARLY! lost my wallet which contains important things. Alhamudillah, I found it. After everything, headed Bedok to meet Daddy. Mummy sent something, as per usual. Dad wanted to eat something, so we sat at the coffeeshop for a moment. Headed home, and wrestle little brother in the car. SO ANGRY!

See this ang moh, his name is Micheal. Hot right, haha. Well, not bad lah actually. Well, he's the Hell's Kitchen season one winner. Despite being scolded etc, he survived! I am proud of him, like what Gordon Ramsay would say haha. I enjoy watching it, I don't know why. Yes, like Dad said, so much vulgars and all still I get very engrossed with each episodes, heeeeh! And you know what, I think I wanna continue watching other seasons. Haha, so will update real soon! Oh yeah, The Wedding Game was A-W-E-S-O-M-E! It was worth every cent, heee!

PS, Happy V day, for those who are celebrating eh :D

even if it leads nowhere.

2009-02-11T23:27:00.000-08:00

Do I look like an object where you can blame about everything that happens? Sometimes I wish I was invisible, or perhaps everytime you talk, it becomes my favourite tune I hear over and over again. Whenever I get tired of it, I'll have a remote control with me and press a button to change to a new song. Now, somthing is impossible.. If you could sulk, why can't I? You made me angry, you knew I'll tend to shout or talk rudely. Why bother talking to me still? Or maybe, you don't even know your daughter as well as you think you do huh? Chill, chill. Breathe in and out. Be grateful you're my parents, and like you said. I have to love you, no matter what. Ha, did you know when I said "I love you" that day when you shoot that sentence straight to my face, it came sincerely from the bottom of my heart, no? Too bad. I don't understand why can't you reply something as simple ABC, which is "I love you too" (?) No wonder we could never get along since forever. Whenever we're getting better, you just have to ruin it all. Or was it me? I bet you'd say I wasn't being understanding. No one was there to hear you out, moments you went through alone like you told sometime ago. So, what about myself? Have you even asked how am I doing throughout this years. Were you being understanding. I know, I know you have to handle little brother but when there was sometime for us, like when we accompanied Daddy prawn fishing. We had a solid 2-6hours, you know? You only share things when there's Abang (elder brother). I have to agree, he always listens obidently, but eventhough my tone sounds rude when I talk (I kept telling you, I'm like that. Bad habits die hard) or when I reply something when you're telling me. I still wanna hear and if I could I want to make you feel better, Mummy. My only wish is, I hope one day I have the darn guts to tell you how I feel one day. Remember those letter we used to write to each other Mama?Chin up Shkn, cheer up!Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, now you're saying when I want something I get oh so nice. I'm not a begger you know, mind you. NOW I WISH YOU WOULD JUST SHUTUP OKAY. WILL YOU! you're welcomed to complain to your favourite children, your SONS! Plus, I'm not that kind of kid who get only nice when I want something okay, eff you.

i build myself up

and fly around in circles

waiting as my heart drops

and my back begins to tingle

finally could this be it?

like others, I want your attention Mummylove.

second post for the day.

2009-02-10T23:15:00.000-08:00

I feel suffocated, I need fresh air. Elder brother sprayed some anti-rusty thing at his bicycle and the smell are damaging my brains, just like glue sniffing. I'd like to say to hello bad headache as my brains can't take such awful smell. Like my oxygen has been replaced by some poisonous gas.. This sure doesn't make sense, for sure. Anyhoos, Istri Untuk Suamiku is showing on the tv screen. Indra is quite good looking though, but not really my taste. I have this habit of saying, Indonesians movie are so dumb. Everything is so darn fake, but I just can't get enough of some of them. It's so addictive, partially because of the actors and actresses. All so pretty and hot, not really. But I'm sort of into teenage love kind of thing, I think. Okay no, I don't know. On a darker side, bad news! Tomorrow is the last day for The Wedding Game and Bride Wars. Showing at the cinema I mean, how miserable. I'm trying to get a partner to watch it with me, by tomorrow. Ai ling, please be free! Btw, I need $$ to shop for some makeup! Tsk!

ihatewhenitcomestothis.

2009-02-10T13:05:00.000-08:00

Skipped morning class, and Studio Production starts at 2pm.
I feel so lazy but Dad ditched work and am staring at me right this moment.
Yes, I know I should be rushing but oh well, I'm still left with 15mins or so..

Projects, projects, projects.... Please end soon!

It was a nice show and movie to watch, you can find the episodes at youtube.
Caloh beteh.

when I'm tired of everything, I become someone I've always hated to be.

idontliketothink.

2009-02-09T23:18:00.000-08:00

I don't like going to Studio Production classes because it pisses me off when they discuss among themselves as if we do not exist at that very moment. I feel like smacking the idiot's head but hey, who I am to do that? He called someone stupid, what about himself? After giving so much hints, he doesn't get it, not even a slight one. I guess, he's stupid too. I'm not mentioning names but perhaps some might know what or who I'm referring to. Of course, it sounds obvious because I'm talking about one of my classmate as I mentioned Studio Production. Okay, let me make this clear I don't care if any of you stumble here and happen to read this post. And start talking about it, negative or positive. Go to hell with your opinions. I do not tolerate such assholes who think he/she thinks they're some big fuckers that go around acting like they know everything and have everything under control. Well, open your fucking eyes widely. We're in a group, and if you happen to shout at me saying I'm stupid cuz I don't know how to do my job. I'm so gonna eff you man. Well, I'm not the only person who is unhappy about it though. I wish, you can read my mind when you're discussing with your fellow friends.. It's gonna be awesome when you can read my mine, but too bad you can't. I shall stop complaining and move on... School was boring, as usual I'm lucky to own some kick ass friends. You know who you are, classes are never boring without them. Audio class was never enjoyable. We're always doing nothing and that disencourage me, I do feel like skipping class every lesson. I've been thinking about quitting over and over again. But hey,for attendance sake, what choice do I have? Anyhoos, will blog soon eh.

be open-minded people, too bad if you think it's you, aw.

notice me, take my hand.

2009-02-09T00:08:00.000-08:00

I've been keeping myself in the dark, I haven't been going out with friends or cousin(s). Always giving excuses and school assignment(s) is keeping me busy. Getting really outdated but who cares right? As long I'm happy that's enough. Besides I'm always having headache and I've become a very hot tempered person now. Yes, I always throw tantrums to my little brother. Be thankful you're not my younger sibling. I always feel moody, and I always come across this feeling which I hope will go away real soon.Fly away,please. I tend to avoid conversations if I'm not close to that person. Like an emo kid. I don't have directions anymore when I talk about things (whatever that means). I get weak/tired and get upset easily. I need English tuition so my English won't get rusty. As it is getting worse as days passes by, practice makes perfect right? Hm, wtvr. I've been skipping Studio Production classes and I'm unhappy about it. I've missed alot of things, missed some chapters. I get lost and lose concentration whenever Ms J teaches and I really want to score well for this module. I've slacked too much last year and I'm trying to quit the bad habit. But bad habits die hard, yes, I'm worried that these are only words and no actions will be taken. Mum is hoping that I'll end up in Poly but I don't have any faith or confident in myself because I'm never a study person. Have never studies for important exams, yes she doesn't know that. If I did, might have scored better but I'll let it pass. No point bragging about it as I can't rewrite history. Well, atleast I'm thankful I'm still studying in school and still have the chance and hope. Oh shut up shkn. Okay I know this is boring but oh well. I really got nothing much to talk about. Except the fact that Mum bought me shoes for jogging and she's been pestering me to jog and do varies sports. Dad has been talking about how much I've grown, and gained weight. I know they care and want me to look pretty. But it's really stressful and annoying most of the times, I haven't been excersing since forever all out of the blue they want me to try every sport that exist. I'll die, for sure. Still, I hope their hard work and care will be worth the time. I need to encourage myself and stop depending on others for encouragement. Nothing is impossible right? Let's see how it goes. And right now, I need some sleep.

before your love.

2009-02-05T23:55:00.000-08:00

tired.

green light.

2009-02-04T13:37:00.000-08:00

Theory is slowly killing my brain cells, I get headache when I have to absorb information over my limits. I'm shagged, and my eyes are terrible. Dark circles are slowly appearing, eyebags are growing bigger as days passes by. I need more sleep, but at times I choose to fight against the sleepy feeling because I didn't want to miss my favourite TV show or too busy surfing the net checking out some dumb videos or too busy admiring hollywood actors. Gyeah, I sound like those typicals bitches but oh well, it's nature you know. Ahhh, shut up Shkn. Reality check, time, 0124hours. Class starts in the afternoon for today, heavens. Yet, that makes me have doubts bout attending sch. Besides tomorrow's Audio Production, and we don't really do anything in class. I'm thinking, and might ditch class. Since my attendance is still pretty good for that lesson, hah. I shall not take advantage of such things, and I'm trying my best to beg myself not to miss class unnecessarily. Oh yes! Did I tell you that everyone's mentioned bout how big I'm growing? Gyeah, and I'm pretty worried about it, but since Imma pig. I'm not doing anything about it, eventhough I kept telling myself to jog everyday. My lazy bones rejected the idea, and even when I really have the feel, the laptop will keep calling me.. If you know what I mean, haha. I need to lose weight,whatever it takes! Must! Physical Education at school isn't helping. Oh well, even if I attend. It's such a waste of time, we won't be doing anything at all. Yes, nothing. So, might as well continue sleeping and have a nice, sweet dream right? Haha, still attendance! Stupid system. Btw, I think I'm going to bed real soon. As I'm very tired. Plus, I can't wait for Thursay, heh! Go figure, nights babies. Tags will be replied asap!

Im planning to learn how to make braclets on my own, ahhhh but sounds silly since I'm not really a person who's like die die must do what I plan, ugh!

eating disorder..

2009-02-01T03:24:00.001-08:00

I don't understand why, these days I easily get full after a few bites of the meal I bought. But then, I get famished again after a few minutes. Well, to me, this is a very bad news of course. That bloody hell means I could get fat very fast. I keep looking for food, never feeling full. So irritating, I wish there's someone to explain why this happens. Oh well, enough of crapping. I shall not brag bout such boring things. My weekends was not really fun yet I sort of enjoy it. Right, before I forget, Happy belated 21st (years) Anniversary to Mom and Dad♥. I love both of you, and wish it will last long till eternity. Celebrated it at East Coast Park, parents treated us food, heavens♥! Anyhoos, I'm already feeling so lazy to attend to school tomorrow. I wish I have a choice, and I feel like working! I miss my previous one, not because of the job. Because I miss some of the people. Oh nevermind now, I wanna watch my favourite show, sorry for the lack of updates and all these boring post. I think anymore, have a nice night!

love you tonight.

2009-01-29T21:35:00.000-08:00

Eventhough I don't really like this one particular uncle to come to house just because he loves to nag just about everything in my house, and us, I still love him as an uncle okay. My day was alright, and as days passes by, I'm becoming more lazier to come to school. I often complain to my fellow mates bout how lazy and tired I am when I'm in school. Sorry to irritated you with such facts, but I guess I shall stop bragging bout things I dislike. On the other hand, I really want to watch Bride Wars, The Wedding Game and the upcoming on, Underworld! Wuuuuu, I really can't wait! And I love my neighbour♥! Ahhh, they're so kind. Haaa, thanks for the red packet though. And tuuuuuuuuuuutituuuu, I'm off as my favourite show's starting. Blog soon!

Make sure attend to school tomorrow, and don't buey tomorrow's outing!

noone's forgotten..

2009-01-28T04:28:00.000-08:00

The Bottom Line

New beginnings are important, but don't lose your appreciation for old connections.
In Detail

Embarking on new beginnings is always important, but make sure that you aren't losing appreciation for your old connections. Every step you have taken in the past has led you to where you are today -- and where you are today prepares you for getting you where you are meant to go. So make time for old friends in between hanging out with new friends. Send a thank you note to that teacher or mentor who helped you. Realize that your life is not just about the future.

(I miss the times we used to spend together, Fitriya, you're not forgotten)

Since I'm back using my old computer, I'm updating old expired pictures I've never posted before like above. Well, I don't really have any interesting story to post but I'm gonna post bout what I feel, I guess? Nothing serious, just about school. At times, I don't understand why, why must we go to school even when the teachers aren't planning to conduct a lesson. Attendance are important but c'mon if you're not conducting any lesson, why not just cancel the class and yeah that helps alot because I can save so much money by that. I mean, at least I don't have to fork out for bus fares right? All we do is, stare at one another, we surf the net in the lab (like as if we don't have our own?) and wait for you to release us, very pathetic. Like very. It's really frusfrating, might as well don't bother building such schools right? Cb! want us to prepare us for work. Sometimes it's funny when they jolly well look at grades. I mean, imagine if that person isn't qualified for some school or work. It's as if, you're looking down on them. That feeling isn't nice at all. System's fucked up. Whatever it is, I will not talk about it any further, as this might make me get into trouble. They're all effing bias, fullstop. Or maybe, I'm getting that fact wrongly? Forgive me, if I am. But I still don't understand, how? Forget it already..... On a lighter note, I've been thinking alot bout some personal stuffs. One of it, something you call friends, friendship. I miss it. I've been so busy with myself till I forgot to catch up things with them, ugh, a time machine might help right now! Fuck. [some of the things ive typed areee gone just like that, thanks, thanks so much. fuck you blogger.] might be changing to other online blog that's avaible,gr!

the days I've died.

friends, miss, need more time together.

2009-01-27T00:12:00.000-08:00

We're all busy with school and our own lives.
Till, we forget to catch up with times and we spend less time together.
My girls, I miss you.
I don't wanna fall apart after what we've built all this while.
Sri and Ifah, let's plan a date for three of us. Rindu!
Ida, you too!

And ofcourse, I miss a whole lot of you people. Miss miss miss.
My social life, is going down the drain.
I really don't want to happen, but I'm thankful we're still in contact etc.
I love everyone of you ok!
♥♥
ahhhhhh, go out soon, come come!

Happy Chinese New Year, btw!

(Utt's hotttttttt, ugh.)
-Live & Loaded baby.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

2009-01-24T21:53:00.000-08:00

Mix all the anger/angry (whatever you call it!) feelings, and that describe what I'm feeling right now. I'm fucking angry and annoyed, this is going to be a silly reason but I always do get angry when it comes to it. I fucking can't find a nice layout!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh! Fuck youuuuuuu lah. Ninabucaocibai. I should stop being pickyyyyyy, I AM FUCKING ANGRY LIKE YOU CAN NEVER IMAGINEEEEEEEEE_l_ *breathe in and out*

cherry chapstick.

2009-01-24T01:55:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I get tired of myself. Sometimes I get tired of my nonsensical. Sometimes I get tired of chewing my own food and I'll end up with a bad headache. Sometimes I'm tired of dressing up. Sometimes I get very tired of school and having to wake up early in the morning. Sometimes I get so angry with the fact that life's nothing without education. Sometimes I get pissed when I always feel like shitting. Sometimes I want to hit someone so hard, just to make myself satisfied. Sometimes I feel so stupid. Sometimes, sometimes.. Uh, am crapping but I do feel so tired of every single thing. It's repeating over and over again, just the matter of you realizing it or not.. I like laughing but nowadays I just can't laugh real hard like I always used to. Even something funny seems nothing? Well, I will laugh but only for perhaps 10 seconds? This is fucking boring, my life. I don't mind being the lady acting in the program "Samantha Who?" like I'm bored of everything than something happened and the next thing I know, I don't know anything. Like starting all over again. Well, I'm sure it's going to be real uncomfortable cuz you won't even know who your parents are and everyone's a stranger to you.. Just saying, but I don't want to lose any inch of memory though, everything that happened in my life are great things. Now, I'm confused. Oh forget it. Skipped school for some valid reasons, stayed home all afternoon. Dad fetched around six forty five pm and first destination was somewhere at cck? The eating place which is located at a park, heaven knows what it's called. Hm, so after that Mom had to send something to her friend house. This is the part that made me feel so fucked up. After waiting for a couple of minutes suddenly my stomach felt a slight pain and it grew, and grew more painful. It was torturous, very. Called Mummy two times but nothing happen. Yay me, and I was blabbering vulgars in front of Daddy =S it's nice to know he understands my situation and kept quiet when I was talking nonsense haha. Had a small misunderstandings, thanks so much to my fucked up tummy. Straight to Granny's house at BB. Didn't get to meet Nrl:( Aw there's always another day eh. Ha, well just watched tv though, nothing much or interesting.. And now, here I am staring deep deep onto the laptop screen zz. I wish tomorrow's plan to Malaysia will be successful please, I need jeans! Boooo, and I better go now before the battery life dies.

PS. Mummy kept pestering me to shorten my hairrr, sobbbbbbbz. Should I?

You're my experimental game..

bulleted list.

2009-01-22T12:10:00.000-08:00

Two of my auntie came over earlier, together with Didi&Iszwan.
Despite being lazy, I still attended school.
Get well soon, Mr L.
And Mr Li, you're not cool, you know?
School turned out fun when doing some practical.
abcdefghijk..... what's after k? *inside joke* haha.
laughed, laughed, laughed like a mad woman.
M, trying to be clever teaching JW abc ended up being laugh, ha.
abcdefghijlkmnopqrZ? *another inside joke* dumbass, haha.
got bored later on, as there was nothing else to do.
cheated about the time to Mr Li, he let us off anyways.
went home, watched tv, ate, ate and ate moree.
chat, speaker's blasting music, sleepy.
i've got homework that has to be done by friday.
dead tired-slash-sleepy.

every minute with you..

memories.

2009-01-20T21:17:00.000-08:00

I get butterflies every time
I stare deep into those eyes
Maybe I’m helpless
Or I’m just self-fish
Cuz I want you all to myself
Oh what I’ll give to make you mine
There’s nothing that I would not try…
And that’s the reason why

I bet you, this post is quite mushy, so do not read from here onwards if you're not into it, please. Anyways, perhaps you'll wonder why I said that, cuz I'm gonna whine bout my past and how I miss those days and every minute I had with some people. Why? Because I treasure them, and their friendship, they've been true.. I miss a whole bunch of them, trust me. Oh, today all of a sudden I felt like talking to my cousin which I used to be close with when we were small and got apart because my uncle divorced with his wife, from there everything just went down the drain. Caught up with things, and got to chat with his mum for a few seconds etc. All of a sudden, I wish I was still small and wished we were all still so close to each other, now if I were to go out and see them outside I don't think I can recognise my own cousin:( Other than that, the main reason, I really missed my primary school friends and secondary school friends and a bunch of habbo-ians. Now, I feel like crying already lah horh. Having to grow with them for a few years, and school ended everyone got seperated. Well, I still remember Shahida and myself wanted to make sure we went into the same school and decided to enter Northland Sec, we got very happy when we both got into the same school. But the sad part was, from sec one to sec four, we were never in the same class and that made us grew apart day by day.. Of course, I felt guilty until today for not being a good bestfriend to her. But I'm thankful we're still in touch and I hope she gets into the poly she wants right now, heh. And yeah, during primary six, I was close to Shahida and Syafiqa, they've been good companion I miss the both of them truck loads, I swear. Tasha Nadia Yap, Jamilah, Maisarah were another handful which I knew since I was in hm? nursery or kindegarden(whatever you spell it) if I'm not mistaken. Despite being super close, we got seperated after that, quite saddening but oh well. I hope all of them are doing real great right now. Yes, yes I know. Everything is a mess now, ha. But overall, I'm greatful with what I have now. I may not have lots of friends like others, but thank God for these beautiful souls. Aw, so sweet of me right? Liyana, have always been there for me to make me feel good in my own skin and never fail to cheer me up, thanks! Jamie, John, Ai Ling, classmates made school days worth it. Eventhough there were a few misunderstandings we all got through it.. Ifah, Sri the ones that I was close with in secondary school and still counting too are missed! Habbo-ians, too many to mention but you know who you are that people like, Seri, Khir, Shikin, Ella, Su, Niss, Aizat, Fir, Rif, Hira, Ariani and the list keeps going on I just can't remember on shot, I appreciate each and every of youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu sangat-sangat. Ew, like want to cry you know? HAHAHA. Mas included eh*winks* haha, well, everyone la, thanks eh for being my friend. Ok random still heh! And to Nrl, my cousin, thanks for being a silly girl who never fails to make me laugh every few second. Loves!

Memories that can never be replaced with anything in the world.

Mom,Dad&Family♥

tick tock tick tock.

2009-01-19T19:40:00.000-08:00

While I was in the toilet in the morning, taking my own sweet time showering, I heard the National Anthem and it reminded me about the days when I was in secondary school. Standing still, respecting the country by singing it and saying out the pledge. Friends, teachers, subjects I miss it all. Time passes and nothing's able to stop it. I wish I'm a DVD player cuz it's able to pause and replay the scene people loves the most. Saying "aww" repeatedly without getting sick of it and wished they were the very person acting in that very movie.. I call that fairytale land, haha. I always wish I was in one though, who doesn't? Life's so heavenly, goes according to script always happy.. Anyways, Sunday, I had to follow Mum to her boss's home because his grandson turned one month old and chinese usually celebrate it, right? I think, not so sure. So, took 854 to Bedok and a cab to the condominium since we don't know what bus goes there. We were greeted and they asked us to eat? Ate, sat, watched a little of Bolt (I still think all the animals are damn damn cute, especially the hamster and Bolt, himself!!!!!!! staring sceneee, haha) and all of a sudden my tummy was in pain-_- typical me. Waited outside the toilet, and I swear I almost cried waiting for the person the come out as I was very urgent and I can let go any second, yeah that bad. Did some business, ha, waited for Mum to talk to her friends and after that went home. Blah blah blah, I am still not well, go away sicknessssss. I don't need you, really. Goodnight loves, and how many country ah? *insides joke* LOL!

you're just a part time lover baby.

what?

2009-01-16T13:10:00.000-08:00

I skipped school for two days because my body betrayed me. I wasn't feeling well and didn't have the strength to go to school. So slept to have my beauty rest, but as per normal my granny always had to spoil every moment. She shouted at the top of her whatever and kept asking me to wake up. Doesn't she know I'm like oh nevermind. After that, Mum called and asked if I wanted to follow my brother to meet her up. Agreed, regardless the weak body. Why? I had enough of nags for the day. Met Mum at Buona Vista, we were late. She was angry, but everyone remained cool. Waited for the bus to NUS, reached. Immediately felt bored, zz. I swear if I were to enter NUS, I can really get lost the whole day and be thin in a few weeks time. The place was so gee, big, hilly? etc etc. Still the food, was pretty cheap perhaps I won't go thin as I will buy food most of the time, haha. My throat got worse in the morning, because I drank redbull last night. Very good horh.

So now I'm thinking whether to go for religious class since I haven't been attending it for more than a month now. Yeah, something always cropped up and most of it, I was feeling lazy. Actually, I have a question, if water were to enter your ears and you let it stay in your ears overnight, the next day your ears will feel painful ah? If, if there are any readers, reading this, any idea? ): haaaaaaaahuuuuheeee. Wait, now I think I want to stay in bed and watch television. Geeeeeeeezzzzzz.