There's time where I feel like I'm lost in my own track of thoughts, I can't hear myself and I don't understand what's going on. I have the urge to breakdown but I stand strong because I know I'm strong. But I get nervous, I feel like throwing up and I have a hard time trying to act normal. Not trying to say that I'm insane, and when I encounter the feeling I hide like a turtle. Hide in it's shell and stay away from the crowd. Only comes out when I think it's safe or with people I feel comfortable with, mostly close ones. I hate to say that I'm anti-social since I love making new friends but I guess I need time to figure out what I really want.. Which I'm unsure of currently. To be honest, I don't really know what I'm trying to say but slowly figuring out.. I give a thousand and one reasons to avoid outings at times (so sorry), cause I got too comfortable staying at home and I'm just lazy to move my bloody ass up and go cuz I feel a lil uncomfortable outdoors. Low self esteem, what do ya expect? Right now, I wish for a miracle would happen. I'd like answers, why, why I'm feeling so lost? I can barely think, and I'm pretty afraid.. Afraid to know what's gonna happen in the future, I need to wake up and be myself, pronto! Ahhh, I hate life. Still, thankful that I've gotten a chance to see how beautiful and wonderful HIS creations are. Thank you for the opportunity.
Or am I a coward? Hmm..